Bristol – Metapod

The students of Bristol are soooo meta. Hard-skinned, they often don’t come out of their shell until graduation.

King’s College London – Chansey

Heavily likely to work in a Pokémon centre (hospital), everyone has heard of it yet rarely encounters its students first-hand. Probably because they’re up to their eggs in coursework.

Cardiff – Dragonite

Wales is the land of dragons, so it’s only fitting that Cardiff should be Dragonite. Held in high esteem by many trainers, it looks kind and cuddly but holds a tremendous amount of power.

Lincoln – Mankey

A little bit too uppity for its size, Mankey is a scrappy little bugger and gets angry very, very easily.

Bath – Snorlax

Trying to get to the West Country? Oh no! A wild university is blocking your path! Bath is like Snorlax because the students of this uni barely ever move from their chosen place of kip, the library.

Newcastle – Blastoise

Strong, hard-shelled, and everyone loves them, Newcastle students are always butting heads and spewing liquids on nights out.

Sussex – Diglett

Just so fucking underground man. Its eyes are mostly pupils, so it can see in those dark underground clubs.

UCL – Mr Mime

Quiet and a bit weird, UCL students often struggle to make themselves heard.

Sheffield – Electabuzz

Just fucking buzzed all the time and ready to throw a punch if needed.

Northumbria – Ditto

No identity of its own, Ditto is always copying others to compensate for its odd appearance and lack of expression.

Leeds – Gloom

Leeds student used Acid! It’s super effective!

Trinity College Dublin – Moltres

Fiery, strong, and legendary. A true powerhouse in the world of Pokémon.

York – Kangaskhan

Strong but a bit boring, you don’t really know what to think of them because nobody you know has one.

Imperial College London – Porygon

Clinical, loved by scientists, and edgy in its own way.

Aston – Rattata

Small and plucky, but makes more than enough noise to make you forget their size. Just watch out for their bite.

Birmingham – Scyther

If you’re wandering around Selly Oak late at night, you’re gonna get HM01’d.

Glasgow – Hitmonchan

A rarity with a lot of variety available, and doesn’t pull any punches.

Warwick – Zubat

Persistently annoying, and always chirps up when you don’t want it to.

LSE – Magnemite

Rarely found in the presence of other Pokémon, Magnemite are very cliquey and only associate with other Magnemite.

Cambridge – Kabuto

Ancient, but so hard to get (into) that it’s coveted by Pokémon trainers (applicants) everywhere. Eventually a lot of people realise, it’s not really worth the hassle.

Oxford – Omanyte

Basically the same as Kabuto, but a little bit less weird.

Durham – Mewtwo

Purple, powerful, but completely irresponsible with that power. Found in secluded areas (County Durham), it turns up its nose to anyone it deems unworthy.

Royal Holloway – Nidoran ♀

Has great potential, and could be a seriously good addition to your Pokémon team (or CV), yet its often overlooked due to its weak appearance.

Edinburgh – Hitmonlee

Sure, it packs a powerful kick, but overall it’s a bit boring and you spend most of the time wishing you’d chosen Hitmonchan.

Bournemouth – Slowpoke

Slow, easily confused, and found by the sea, Bournemouth has a decent amount of power but will only use it when necessary.

Aberdeen – Venusaur

Venusaur is an ugly, gruff figure that still somehow manages to be beautiful in places, much like Aberdeen and its lovely campus in a cesspit of a city.

Kent – Paras

Small, weak, and a bit poisonous (to your employment prospects).

Stirling – Jynx

Found a bit out of the way, you’ll find that nobody knows anyone with a Jynx. They have a lot of power though. Cold as ice.

Aberystwyth – Farfetch’d

Slightly weird and often overlooked or forgotten by almost everyone, Farfetch’d is also never seen without a leek, much like the Welsh.

Plymouth – Poliwrath

Fighting comes second nature to Poliwrath, but it often misses its punches.

Exeter – Exeggutor

Green and proud, but regularly off its face. Exeggutor is also how people from Devon say “Exeter” after a few ciders.

Liverpool – Meowth

Every day is Pay Day! Liverpool students have tons of cash to splash, so they’re obviously Meowth.

Hull – Muk

Found in areas of putrid filth (Kingston-upon-Hull), Muk will consume anything, even [w]elly vodka.

Leicester – Onix

Like the skyline of Leicester, Onix is grey and towers above all. A bit snakey, but it rocks.

UEA – Drowzee

Half asleep and a bit chubby, UEA students will easily put you to sleep talking about the “great nights out” in Norwich.

Loughborough – Koffing

Purple, and found in highly polluted areas (the Midlands). The toxic gas (chat) that Lufbra students churn out can be incredibly poisonous (to social situations).

Manchester – Beedrill

Always buzzing, and sharp as a needle. Just don’t get stabbed.

Nottingham – Machoke

Always in the gym, working on those guns. Good at fighting, but not much else.

Nottingham Trent – Machop

Plucky and always up for a fight, but not quite as powerful or prestigious as its evolution.

Oxford Brookes – Charmander

Everyone’s got a soft spot for Charmander. Sounds good but only chosen by those who don’t know better. Still, it has a fiery nature and a strong intent to be something better.

Queen’s University Belfast – Abra

Always teleporting around different parts of Norn Iron, QUB students always go on to be something great.

UWE – Weedle

Small, weak, and a bit rubbish. No one really wants it but sometimes they just have to bite the bullet and go for it.

Kingston – Magikarp

Often underwater and not very useful, Kingston has great potential.

Is your uni missing? E-mail [email protected] to start The Tab at your uni!