Video: Oxford students talk about all the porn they’ve been watching

Do you watch porn? Nah, me neither. But even if you do, chances are you’re unlikely to want to talk about it on camera.

A group of Oxford students thought differently though, and have taken part in a film society documentary talking about their masturbatory habits. The result? Well, it turns out that even if you go to as prestigious a university as Oxford, you still like to watch people fornicate.

Well, all apart from this guy, who “claims” to not watch porn. That said, he still gives a cheeky grin when asked if he knows what a milf is.

Me? Watch porn? Never!

The nine-minute clip asks a collection of students about their porn preferences and whether they’ve ever searched for any of the most popular Pornhub keywords in Oxford. Those keywords are below, just in case you’d like to experience how those at the top of the academic pyramid masturbate.

We’ve even made them hyperlinks (NSFW obviously) so you can get straight to the good stuff!

5. Casting

4. Lisa Ann

3. British

2. Milf

1. Lesbian

Your responses of kindness and positive thoughts get me right out from underneath the issue holding me down. Thanks! pic.twitter.com/S5AAseX7pb

— Lisa Ann (@thereallisaann) March 27, 2014

Perhaps unsurprisingly, the reactions people give to each of these search terms aren’t too shocking, though this guy manages to confuse himself while explaining what a casting video is.

“It’s like an audition…but also, it’s not?”

Interestingly, the video points out that Oxford is the only UK city with “casting” in the list of top five keywords. The other four terms on the list are rather more ordinary, though the idea of searching for a nationality baffles a few of the students.

One guy confesses to being half-Italian and “searching Italian once”, though the fact he never did it again suggests he’s stuck to British since then.

“It looked exactly the same, but with bad Italian accents”

Despite porn apparently being much less popular with girls at Oxford, the film-makers were able to find a couple to share their views on the internet’s naughty side. One of them is particularly vocal about her love for HD porn (that’s high-definition for those of you still watching grainy handheld sex flicks), so you can tell she must have a good internet connection.

She’s not interested in your low-res homemade porno

Let’s hope that’s not a porn-related injury

As the most popular search term in Oxford, and in countless other places around the world, it seems that very few people would dispute the fact that lesbian porn is pretty great.Probably, based on what these people say, because it doesn’t have any men in it and men ruin stuff (the one gay guy interviewed may disagree with that).

In truth, seeing “lesbian” come out on top as the most popular search term for students of all genders at Oxford might be a little disappointing to those who hoped the illustrious academic institution would distinguish itself from the tastes of the wider world.

Instead, we have to live with the fact that when it comes to touching ourselves, we all like to do it the same way – no matter how good our A Levels were.