Incoming students ‘buzzing’ as unis continue to book tragic freshers’ week acts

It’s supposed to be the best week of your life, but freshers will be left feeling like they’re back at school this year as unis continue to book naff headline acts.

The likes of Zane Lowe, Basshunter and Scouting for Girls have a monopoly on freshers’ events across the country, confirming the infamous week is getting tackier.

This year’s Freshers’ contender

While SUs have battled it out to get the best for incoming students, their “exclusive” acts have been mimicked by neighbouring universities, resulting in mediocre freshers’ tours from musical has-beens who haven’t filled a dance floor since 2007.

The forerunner for the 2014 freshers’ season is BBC Radio 1 DJ Zane Lowe, who is attending six consecutive freshers’ events yet interestingly fails to list these on his website about upcoming shows.

But despite his indifference for them, new students are unable to contain their excitement at seeing him in the flesh- even though 5,000 students will be seeing him at the same time.

And it’s not just past-it DJs who are invading freshers’ this year-  reality “stars” Jamie Laing and Alex Mytton will be paid to sit in private booths boozing and occasionally talking into a microphone.

The ‘boiz’ will be storming round the UK

MIC are invading three welcome week events, although some joy can be derived from the absence of TOWIE  with Joey Essex only booked for one event throughout the UK.

This is, however, still causing some upset.

Game of Thrones’ Hodor is also a popular choice this year. He’ll be following in the footsteps of Basshunter and doing what he does best: DJ sets.

The fantasy star will be headlining at four different universities including Aberystwyth and Dundee, and he’ll even be hosting a headphone disco and UV rave at the University of Liverpool.

But in a shocking twist, freshers actually want to listen to “Now You’re Gone” and “She’s So Lovely” in the SU bar- an idea more worrying than the fact these acts can still actually be booked.

Cutesy indie-pop band Scouting for Girls are also a hit with students as they prepare to visit four universities.

Steph Brew, who’s about to start her final year at Liverpool, is especially excited to see Basshunter.

She told The Tab: “I think it’s amazing. Everyone can say they hate him now but no one can deny that he was their ringtone at least one when they were 13.”

But not everyone is “buzzing” for the line-ups this year.

Arm waving is unlikely to get rid of the flop acts

Some overly emotional students are actually boycotting their freshers’ week because of the cringe acts.

Rob, from Kings College London, said: “I’m absolutely not going. Scouting for Girls discography consists of different variations of the same track. Plus, they’re not exactly party pumpers either, are they?

“And Basshunter is an embarrassing Swedish man with awful hair. His music is shit and I physically wince and cringe when I hear it.”

Pierre, also from Kings, said: “No, I would never go. Why are you asking me such ridiculous questions?”

Others just can’t contain their anger.

https://twitter.com/hanzelmarshel2/status/503999806982074368

And it seems it’s not just noughties pop flops making this year’s freshers’ week the tackiest week of the year.

Events like Carnage are just as cringe as the throwback headline acts

Events like Pier Pressure in Aberystwyth, Hot Dub Time Machine in Edinburgh and X&X in Bath – not to mention Carnage and traffic light parties- are all contributing to what is fast becoming the worst year to start university.

Some universities, such as Northumbria, have managed to keep their headliners a little bit more up to date with Scott Mills and Duke Dumont, although they are in a minority.

Creativity points can be given to the SUs who have thought outside the box, despite bringing in an even lower calibre of acts.

Stirling University went above and beyond the mark by bringing in S Club 2 – a variation on the noughties pop band in which Bradley and Tina DJ – with Leicester getting double for its money in hiring Blue and the Sugababes as a combined performance.

However, all three acts, unsurprisingly, haven’t been booked anywhere else.