What is it with student election candidates and their teeth?

There’s a school of thought which suggests an intimate link between student union presidents and teeth – and it’s gathering traction.

Several hypotheses have been tabled by different scholars. Are you more likely to run for the Guild if you have prominent teeth? Does forcing a smile for a whole week of campaigning push those incisors further out of your gums? Are you more likely to win the more enamel you show in campaign photos?

No conclusions have been drawn or proven thus far, but one thing is for certain: having big gnashers is inextricably tied to pretending to care about stuff like contact hours, wearing a snug fleece with “president” embroidered on the breast and not paying council tax even though you’re on £18k a year.

Don’t believe me?