Crikey, the best clubbers in the UK this week aren’t holding back
Do they kiss their mothers with those mouths?
Bobby PalmerWhat’s that coming over the hill? It’s not an outdated reference, it’s the Clubbers of the Week!
Yes, we’re back with yet another edition of your favourite Sunday afternoon read. Try not to enjoy it too much, you lazy old lot.
It’s DJ Brexit on the decks
This track’s called ‘If I Could Turn Back Time’
And if you’re looking for wankers, here’s
Get it?
Uh, hello, God? I need to report an accident!
Looks like three of your angels have fallen from heaven!
Bonus MIC lookalike: Lucy Watson’s having fun
She’s definitely been talking about you behind your back
Most crudely Photoshopped-on hat
You’re not fooling anyone
Least fair dance-off
Well it’s just obvious who’s going to win, isn’t it?
Bonus MIC lookalike: These girls think they’ve met Proudlock
Spoiler alert: They haven’t
When you tell your mum you’re not going clubbing
Hope she doesn’t recognise our hoodies
When you won’t let your singing career disrupt your Bumble game
Lol is that ur dog in the 2nd pic? so cute
You brought a whole wheel of cheese?
Yes, that was an Anchorman reference
When you forget what your costume is halfway through the night
Erm… Angry Birds?
Guess who’s not having a good night?
Oh, him
A dramatic recap of the Whole Zara McDermott and Sam Thompson cheating scandal
anotherstephenRemember when she kept posting open love notes on Instagram to him?
Co-star romances and age-gap relationships: All of Paul Hollywood’s biggest controversies
Lydia Spencer-ElliottHe’s back handing out handshakes on another series of The Great British Bake Off
Boo! These are officially the most haunted UK unis in 2023, based on ghost sightings
Emily SmithThere have been 59 ghost sightings at one UK uni
MAFS gossip column: Jordan responds to fight scandal and cast knew each other before the show?!
Hayley SoenThe drama really never ends!
Tour buses and family dramas: A brief history of One Direction’s run-ins with the law
Liam Payne has just had his driver’s license suspended
‘You’re scared to step outside’: Two women share their stories of being stalked at uni
This doesn’t only happen to celebrities like Holly Willoughby
Another one! People spot a further editing error in MAFS questioning a staged dinner
Nothing is sacred anymore
Um, the video of Georges squatting has been revealed and you absolutely have to watch it
Ellie RingGive this man all the baguettes
Attention pickpocket! The uni cities where you’re most likely to have your phone stolen
I’m switching back to a Nokia brick after this
Meet Lauren Sintes: The 27-year-old model joining the cast of Made in Chelsea
Of course she’s well connected with most of the cast
Rugby boys and the cleaning rota: Just 19 uni things that are none of my business
The hygiene rating of my fave kebab shop has nothing to do with me!
From secret hookups to cheating: All the biggest bombshells from the Love Is Blind reunion
I’m in shock at all of these
Why do posh people sleep with all their mates? A very serious investigation
The Made in Chelsea mayhem has gone on long enough
‘You’ve made a c*** of yourself’: Shona shares off-screen chat that saw Brad axed from MAFS
‘Bradley said he was behaving like a caged animal’
MAFS UK star Chanita Stephenson calls out the current cast for being a ‘bit too wild!’
She thinks they’re on the show ‘for fun’ and are not ‘focusing on their marriages’
‘Go f**k yourself’: Luke calls out ‘snake’ in MAFS cast who ‘sold’ story of him having a fight
It was revealed today Luke has been removed from the show following a physical fight
Luke has been AXED from Married at First Sight UK following physical fight with Jordan
The incident was caught on camera