This is every Love Island 2019 contestant condensed into a starter pack
Molly-Mae would have a Fiat 500, obv
You can tell a lot about the cast of this year's Love Island just from looking at them: Which uni they'd fit in at, what schoolbag they remind you the most of, how good they'd be in the sack – lots of stuff.
Four weeks in and there's still a lot you can work out about their general vibe – Tommy obviously uses Lynx Africa, Anton tags his mates in Lad Bible videos with the caption "lads when are we doing this lol ?? ?". Anna drinks Cîroc on nights out, while Ovie is content with a nice tip top lollie.
If you thought the shrewd observations were going to dry up any time soon, think again – because we've moved on to starter packs, that evergreen meme from 2017. This is what the Islanders would look like, boiled down to their most basic stereotypes:
Tommy
We have yet to find Tommy Fury's Reddit profile but we bet he's in some brilliant forums.
Curtis
Tell me you can't imagine Curtis making coffees wearing his kimono.
Belle
Belle's actual nails probably wouldn't fit into the dimensions of the image.
Marvin
Marvin has said about four words since he entered the villa. This is all he deserves.
George
It's a shame George has been kicked off because his obvious Tory vibes would have been fun to rinse.
Amy
After her big moment last night I hope Amy gets a chance to unwind with a pitcher of Woo Woo.
Anton
Anton dabs. We all know this.
Joanna
Much like Marvin, Joanna hasn't really made much of an impact in the shadows of Michael's gaslighting and Amber's general brilliance.
Maura
Maura is into fluffy things, and also sexting.
Jordan
We had to assign Jordan two pairs of shoes because honestly he'd probably wear lit trainers on his hands if he were allowed.
Amber
A Wagamama takeaway and a bottle of Blossom Hill with Amber sounds like a right laugh – sign me up.
Michael
I can now only ever look at those glasses as the "gaslighting glasses".
Anna
Can you imagine Anna on Keeping up with the Kardashians? It would be insane.
Ovie
If the bottom left pic is confusing to you, watch this clip and you will magically understand.
Lucie
Gone, but forever in our hearts (and the friendzone).
Molly-Mae
Pretty standard kit for a wannabe YouTuber, tbh.
Related stories recommended by this writer:
• The Love Island Trash League: Which Islanders need to get in the bin?
• Finally we’re seeing Curtis for what he is, an insufferable creep