This country’s obsession with pigs in blankets needs to stop

Pigs in blankets are undeniably delicious – bacon wrapped in sausage, probably soaked in gravy and dipped in cranberry sauce. They’re the perfect side dish accompanied by the likes of roast potatoes and turkey. Pigs in blankets are possibly the best part of Christmas dinner.

But let’s face it, how many of you actually eat them outside the festive season? Most shops don’t even stock pigs in blankets all year round – and can you name someone who wraps a bacon round a sausage before eating it?

So why is the UK so obsessed with pigs in blankets? They’ve been turned into everything, ranging from pyjamas to chocolate. I could not name any other country who is so obsessed with a meat wrapped another piece of meat. This mere side dish definitely doesn’t need a whole merchandise and culture dedicated to it. This needs to stop now.

Here are all the times this country has taken the entire concept of pigs in blankets just way too far:

Sainsbury’s pigs in blankets mayo

via Instagram @_well_this_is_new_

On their website, Sainsbury’s claims that it is their “new favourite Christmas condiment”, but I’m not sure if it’s anyone’s favourite condiment, Christmas or not. It looks vile.

This mayonnaise is actually vegetarian, containing smoke flavouring, tomato paste, and paprika extract to resemble the taste of pigs in blankets.

Pigs in blankets flavour coated peanuts

via Instagram @uksnackspotting

A surprising number of supermarkets have released pigs in blankets peanuts, including Asda, Tesco and Iceland – with poor reviews. They have all been rated below 2.5 stars, which is honestly understandable. Why ruin the best kind of nuts with such unnecessary coating?

Two-metre long pig in blanket

via Instagram @aldiuk

Just as you thought you couldn’t get enough, Aldi sells a singular 2m long pig in a blanket every year for just £4.99, which is actually very good value.

It is described as a stunning “two-metre long centrepiece made with impeccably seasoned British pork and bacon” and is enough for ten servings. Out of everything in this list, this probably is the most popular and iconic product, although there is way more hype around this than there should be.

Pigs in blankets vape liquid

via RedJuice

Yup, you read this right. There is pigs and blankets E-liquid for you to vape. It is described as having “plenty of smoky, sweet flavour that combines a savoury base with plenty of sweet overtones”.

It claims to taste like bacon and is actually sold out at the time of writing. I think I’ll still pass, the thought of any kind of meat flavour entering my lungs honestly makes me sick. And can you even imagine the smell of the smoke after use?

Asda’s pigs in blankets fondue

via Instagram @newfoodsuk

Fondue is often associated with steak, sourdough bread and classiness – and certainly not with a five quid pack of pigs and blankets from Asda.

Although to be fair, bacon and cheese is a good combination (specially camembert – which is what this pack contains) so I would try this if I had the chance.

B&M’s pigs under blankets pizza

via Instagram @bm_stores

This cheese-based pizza with onion chutney and red peppers of course contains the inevitable ingredient: Pigs in blankets. I would also try this, pork is a common ingredient in pizza anyways. It has quite positive reviews and you can get it for just £3. But again, was this really necessary?

Pigs in blankets pyjamas

via ASOS

Look, these are actually adorable and I would consider buying them for £24. But what about other items in Christmas dinner? Why doesn’t ASOS sell a nice set of Yorkshire pudding or parsnip pyjamas?

And finally, pigs in blankets flavoured chocolate

This is something I cannot get behind. Chocolate is one that thing that shouldn’t be invaded by this never-ending obsession of pigs in blankets! That being said, the actual shape of the chocolates look quite realistic.