People on Reddit are currently debating which fictional character has the biggest winky

Personally I think Hagrid is packing

3 years ago

Trash

You’re lying to yourself if you think you’ve never thought about the size of a fictional character’s dick before. I’m not saying we all thought about it as kids, but during our later years of being young, you categorically cannot deny that you never thought about the size of Hagrid’s winky. And you shouldn’t feel awkward about admitting this because no, it’s not weird to think about the potential size of a giant’s appendage – it’s hot girl shit.

You can also take solace in the fact there’s an entire Reddit thread about this. Yeah, that’s right, there are people somewhere in a corner of the internet debating whether Ned Flanders from The Simpsons has a large willy or not. It’s madness, the thread is called “Which fictional character probably has a massive weiner?” and it’s holding around 12,000 comments so obviously we needed to go through them and have you vote:

The top comment is Hagrid, obviously

Our gentle giant Hagrid is a very strong contender. The top comment has over 25,000 likes for just simply stating his name. But underneath the comment is where things get weird. One Reddit user said: “I have a large penis, Harry” which actually made me laugh out loud. Someone else said Hagrid’s dad is actually “hung like a fucking donkey” as he impregnated Hagrid’s mother who was a giant. See? There’s a decent theory behind this thread.

‘Ned Flanders has a shlong’

Next up we have our favourite animated Christian, Ned Flanders. One Reddit user referenced back to the scene where the shower door opened up on Ned and his genitals were pixelated all the way to the floor. You can watch this moment unfold below:

‘L stands for Luigi, M stands for miniature’

I mean there is an entire YouTube theory dedicated to the science behind Luigi measuring up. You can watch the video here but it possibly will ruin your Mario Bros experience for the rest of your life.

‘Fred Flinstone can make my bed rock’

via YouTube

At this point in the thread I was starting to think it just gets more and more depraved as the list goes on and to be honest, I’m right. Someone said Fred Flinstone “can make my bed rock” and another person asked the obvious question “What do you think he uses as a car break?” – Could Fred be your winner?

Kronk from Emperor’s New Groove

You know what? I can see this one. I can actually sense this is true and it’s possibly the most realistic answer so far plus he is hot.

‘Squidward has a nose cock’

So according to this Reddit user, the person who created Spongebob was also a marine biologist and threw in Easter Eggs that only adults with an interest in the ocean would get. For example, “Squidward’s nose cock phenomenon”. They continue their thread and say: “Generally speaking, squids have 10 limbs, two tentacles and eight arms. Squidward has two tentacles, four legs and his nose. Now considering the location to the gonads in the squid anatomy, his nose is his penis.”

But now we’ve been through the best, cast your vote below: