How to spend May Day this year

This is the only reason you came to study in Oxford.

It’s the 30th April which can only mean one thing, it’s finally May Day. It’s the one day of the year when it’s acceptable to start drinking at 3pm and finish at 6 the next morning. You spend your night trying not to fall off the side of the May Day boat and you’ll probably do something really inappropriate at the end of the night. It’s the most wonderful time of the year.

So here’s how to make your May Day the maddest night of uni so far:

Pre Drinks

You have to make a strategic, scientific plan to make sure you’ve got enough alcohol in your system to last at least 15 hours. It’s a strange but fulfilling thing to be playing ring of fire whilst the sun is still shining and the birds are singing. On your way back from your vodka run you see kids coming home from school and it makes you question your very existence.

How to Dress

If you’re a fresher, don’t play it casual. In the words of Dizzee Rascal, ‘fix up look sharp’. You’ll see the odd person in their tour t shirt, or someone dressed up in a unicorn onesie looking like a bit of a twat- don’t follow in their footsteps. Third years will be going all out in their suits and ties, clinging onto their last ever May Day. It’s the only time of year apart from graduation you’ll see a sea of Brookes students looking dapper on the U5. Embrace it.

lookin fresh

The Boat Party

You’re stumbling along to Folly Bridge in all your finery, with the contents of the leftover ring of fire in a water bottle tightly gripped to your hand. The sun is shining and you’re about to sail down the river Thames. You finally feel like you’re doing Oxford right. This is the kind of thing that you pictured before uni, rather than your Wednesday night habit of ending up in a ditch after Fuzzy Ducks. You spend the boat party chain smoking in your suit and sunglasses like you’re in a James Bond film. (If Bond ever did strawpedos and almost fell off the side of a canal boat.)

The After Party

You probably didn’t realise that the boat won’t take card and, just like the queen, you never carry cash. So you’ve sobered up a bit and in need of double vodka red bulls and probably a big mac on route to keep your energy levels up. By the time DJ Ollie’s playing Mr Brightside in Wahoo, you’re raring to go and you’re probably raving to the Killer’s with your top off and your tie round your head. Winning.

mad one

The Festival 

For the first time in Oxford’s long history there will be two festivals on May Day. Make sure you choose which one to go for soon before you’re left going to Roppongi for the whole night. And you’re spoilt for choice, if your inner roadman is crying out then Stormzy is your man at This is May Day festival, or you can throw it back to the 90’s with Ms Dynamite at the Forbidden May Day Festival. What more could you want?