CLAUDIA LEONG interviews the insensitive ‘Sensitive Scholar’, whose witty Tab comments are as ubiquitous as bicycles in Cambridge, or Middle Eastern dictators.
He (or she) is the rude, absurd and funny fixture of The Tab, who’s managed to carve out a name for himself amidst the dog-eat-dog world of this esteemed newspaper’s comments section. Everybody knows who he is, yet still his anonymity remains. A Sensitive Scholar is well and truly a Cambridge legend, but nobody has ever pinned him down before.
Nobody, that is, until now.
![]()
So who exactly are you, and why are you such a prolific commenter on The Tab?
I’m just your regular, everyday Cambridge student who wants to go speak out against the system, y’know? I never got to make points of information at Thursday night Union debates since that one time I was thrown out for ‘being a nuisance’ (read: ‘groping Richard Dawkins’). My tutor called me a “deeply troubled young man” and recommended that I join some societies, so The Tab is my choice of artistic expression. I’d like to think of myself as the tortured, misunderstood genius type.
![]()
And yet you certainly seem to have ambivalent views about those of us who write for The Tab, don’t you?
Well, for every appearance the delicious Mr Hunter Allen makes on TabTV, there’s half a dozen boring articles about undignified things that Tab writers have decided to ‘try’ for the sake of writing an article, or some dullard blathering on about Varsity lacrosse results. Honestly, I only ever go on this website because it’s my one shot at contacting articulate, intelligent, nubile young men for romantic encounters without receiving a restraining order.
![]()
Have you ever considered actually writing for The Tab or infiltrating TabTV, just to get a sense of what it’s like on the other end?
Oh, I’ve been interviewed for the Lola Lo Down before, in a drunken yet sensitive stupor. That’s got you guessing now.
![]()
What do you have to say to those who claim that your comments are inflammatory and unnecessarily offensive?
They’re just jealous they don’t receive as many thumbs-up as I do. They’re probably the same left wing liberal dolts who think that Girton is as good a college as Trinity, support the CUSU women’s campaign, and believe that Oxbridge should be more state school than it already is. It’s a pity that so many students around here are like this. I seriously considered going to Oxford instead, because at least the Bullingdon Club retains some social prestige. I mean, the Pitt Club is located above Pizza Express, which is so totally povo. How much more bourgeois can you get? But Oxford are below Cambridge in the league tables and I wanted to study in the same hallowed halls as my hero, Nick Griffin.
Do you think that the anonymity of commenting on Tab articles is what gives you your bravado? I mean, you wouldn’t say crude or sexist comments around the Sidgwick Site now, would you?
Yes, but that’s only because it’s frowned upon by most of the roll-up smoking hipsters around the Casimir Lewy Library. I’ll freely admit that I’m often not a nice person. But I’ve never pretended to be one—that’s more than what most people can say, isn’t it?
![]()
Once you graduate, do you worry about going from troll under the [Cam]bridge to water under the bridge?
I might graduate, but believe me, I’m going to stick around on The Tab. As my muse, the illustrious Immanuel Kant, once said: “Out of the crooked timber of humanity no straight thing was ever made.” Fancy port and playtime with me, Julius Handler?
Interview: A Sensitive Scholar
CLAUDIA LEONG interviews the insensitive ‘Sensitive Scholar’, whose witty Tab comments are as ubiquitous as bicycles in Cambridge, or Middle Eastern dictators.
He (or she) is the rude, absurd and funny fixture of The Tab, who’s managed to carve out a name for himself amidst the dog-eat-dog world of this esteemed newspaper’s comments section. Everybody knows who he is, yet still his anonymity remains. A Sensitive Scholar is well and truly a Cambridge legend, but nobody has ever pinned him down before.
Nobody, that is, until now.
So who exactly are you, and why are you such a prolific commenter on The Tab?
I’m just your regular, everyday Cambridge student who wants to go speak out against the system, y’know? I never got to make points of information at Thursday night Union debates since that one time I was thrown out for ‘being a nuisance’ (read: ‘groping Richard Dawkins’). My tutor called me a “deeply troubled young man” and recommended that I join some societies, so The Tab is my choice of artistic expression. I’d like to think of myself as the tortured, misunderstood genius type.
And yet you certainly seem to have ambivalent views about those of us who write for The Tab, don’t you?
Well, for every appearance the delicious Mr Hunter Allen makes on TabTV, there’s half a dozen boring articles about undignified things that Tab writers have decided to ‘try’ for the sake of writing an article, or some dullard blathering on about Varsity lacrosse results. Honestly, I only ever go on this website because it’s my one shot at contacting articulate, intelligent, nubile young men for romantic encounters without receiving a restraining order.
Have you ever considered actually writing for The Tab or infiltrating TabTV, just to get a sense of what it’s like on the other end?
Oh, I’ve been interviewed for the Lola Lo Down before, in a drunken yet sensitive stupor. That’s got you guessing now.
What do you have to say to those who claim that your comments are inflammatory and unnecessarily offensive?
They’re just jealous they don’t receive as many thumbs-up as I do. They’re probably the same left wing liberal dolts who think that Girton is as good a college as Trinity, support the CUSU women’s campaign, and believe that Oxbridge should be more state school than it already is. It’s a pity that so many students around here are like this. I seriously considered going to Oxford instead, because at least the Bullingdon Club retains some social prestige. I mean, the Pitt Club is located above Pizza Express, which is so totally povo. How much more bourgeois can you get? But Oxford are below Cambridge in the league tables and I wanted to study in the same hallowed halls as my hero, Nick Griffin.
Do you think that the anonymity of commenting on Tab articles is what gives you your bravado? I mean, you wouldn’t say crude or sexist comments around the Sidgwick Site now, would you?
Yes, but that’s only because it’s frowned upon by most of the roll-up smoking hipsters around the Casimir Lewy Library. I’ll freely admit that I’m often not a nice person. But I’ve never pretended to be one—that’s more than what most people can say, isn’t it?
Once you graduate, do you worry about going from troll under the [Cam]bridge to water under the bridge?
I might graduate, but believe me, I’m going to stick around on The Tab. As my muse, the illustrious Immanuel Kant, once said: “Out of the crooked timber of humanity no straight thing was ever made.” Fancy port and playtime with me, Julius Handler?
Preview: millennium baby
CAMBRIDGE
I talked to the cast and crew behind Cambridge’s new coming-of-age play
Do you miss out if you go to an outer Cambridge college?
CAMBRIDGE
What if I’m not the main character?!
Five reasons why Medwards is the best college at Cambridge University
CAMBRIDGE
There’s more to us than ‘that one on the hill’
‘Students were not being used as pawns’: The key take-aways from the UCU open meeting
CAMBRIDGE
The fight back against casual, insecure working conditions continues
Double trouble: The twin experience at university
CAMBRIDGE
A reflection on the university experience as a twin
Fitz Winter Ball is giving May Balls a run for their money
CAMBRIDGE
With Tinchy Stryder headlining, Fitz Winter Ball is the ‘Number 1’ event happening in Michaelmas
I asked ChatGPT your Cambridge Freshers’ Week questions
CAMBRIDGE
Turns out AI has some pretty useful advice
Quality over quantity: How to hack Cambridge
CAMBRIDGE
Work smarter, not harder
How to matricu-slay: A reflection on my matriculation at Cambridge University
CAMBRIDGE
Its official! I’ve entered the depths of hell…I mean Cambridge
Cambridge University’s King’s College covered in orange paint in Just Stop Oil protest
CAMBRIDGE
The demonstration is one of a series of attacks on UK universities such as Manchester and University College London
Seven things I’ve learnt as a Cambridge Fresher
CAMBRIDGE
In the words of Danny Dyer – what have I got meself into?
University of Cambridge is nothing without its students
CAMBRIDGE
We need to give ourselves more credit; University of Cambridge is nothing without us
Sandi Toksvig appointed Qantabrigian Bye-Fellow at Christ’s College
CAMBRIDGE
Sightings of former bake-off star around Cambridge explained
College Parenthood: What to expect when you’re expecting
CAMBRIDGE
Putting the fun into dysfunctional family
Six things I learnt about Cambridge when visiting other universities
CAMBRIDGE
The Cambridge quirks become so obvious!
From freebies to societies, how to make the most of Cambridge’s Freshers’ Fair
CAMBRIDGE
Going once is never enough
Overrated: The Cambridge experience
CAMBRIDGE
Status: hungover. Workload: too much. Feeling: burnt out.
Student activists arrested for Schlumberger protest
CAMBRIDGE
OCRA and XR activists were apprehended by police
Five things you might not realise about living in Cambridge year round
CAMBRIDGE
Moving every item across main site makes life worth living
Your guide to surviving Cambridge Freshers’ Week
CAMBRIDGE
The excuse ‘I’m just a silly fresh’ will be your best friend
A dramatic recap of the Whole Zara McDermott and Sam Thompson cheating scandal
UK
Remember when she kept posting open love notes on Instagram to him?
Co-star romances and age-gap relationships: All of Paul Hollywood’s biggest controversies
UK
He’s back handing out handshakes on another series of The Great British Bake Off
Boo! These are officially the most haunted UK unis in 2023, based on ghost sightings
UK
There have been 59 ghost sightings at one UK uni
MAFS gossip column: Jordan responds to fight scandal and cast knew each other before the show?!
UK
The drama really never ends!
Ella has been ‘lined up’ by PrettyLittleThing to be the brand’s first ever transgender model
UK
Big moves!
Tour buses and family dramas: A brief history of One Direction’s run-ins with the law
UK
Liam Payne has just had his driver’s license suspended
There’s been a huge The Fall of the House of Usher clue staring us in the face this whole time
UK
This is so CLEVER
‘You’re scared to step outside’: Two women share their stories of being stalked at uni
UK
This doesn’t only happen to celebrities like Holly Willoughby
Another one! People spot a further editing error in MAFS questioning a staged dinner
UK
Nothing is sacred anymore
‘It’s not funny’: Love Actually’s creator has finally addressed the film’s fatphobia
UK
Justice for Natalie
Um, the video of Georges squatting has been revealed and you absolutely have to watch it
UK
Give this man all the baguettes
Attention pickpocket! The uni cities where you’re most likely to have your phone stolen
UK
I’m switching back to a Nokia brick after this
Meet Lauren Sintes: The 27-year-old model joining the cast of Made in Chelsea
UK
Of course she’s well connected with most of the cast
Rugby boys and the cleaning rota: Just 19 uni things that are none of my business
UK
The hygiene rating of my fave kebab shop has nothing to do with me!
From secret hookups to cheating: All the biggest bombshells from the Love Is Blind reunion
UK
I’m in shock at all of these
Why do posh people sleep with all their mates? A very serious investigation
UK
The Made in Chelsea mayhem has gone on long enough
Shona says she and Brad were together for six weeks after MAFS but split as he didn’t change
UK
‘I woke the hell up’
‘You’ve made a c*** of yourself’: Shona shares off-screen chat that saw Brad axed from MAFS
UK
‘Bradley said he was behaving like a caged animal’
MAFS UK star Chanita Stephenson calls out the current cast for being a ‘bit too wild!’
UK
She thinks they’re on the show ‘for fun’ and are not ‘focusing on their marriages’
‘Go f**k yourself’: Luke calls out ‘snake’ in MAFS cast who ‘sold’ story of him having a fight
UK
It was revealed today Luke has been removed from the show following a physical fight
Luke has been AXED from Married at First Sight UK following physical fight with Jordan
UK
The incident was caught on camera