Girton Geeks Hack Worst College

Inside sources have revealed to The Tab that Girton Phys NatScis have horrifically hacked our Worst College competition.

The three outrageous pranksters wrote a computer program that was able to vote for all other Colleges multiple times.

Girton on only 6% – surprising given how shit a college it is

The program was reportedly written in under 10 minutes.

It was then sent via Facebook to the inboxes of 18 members of college who were told to use it at their discretion.

Each user of the program could decide which colleges to target by typing Yes/No in the options menu.

One of the ‘progress charts’ produced by the hackers, showing Girton’s rapid decline

Also revealed by the poll results is that Peterhouse is currently winning the dubious competition, though the proximity between each College, apart from Girton, reveals how much impact the programme has had on our innocent survey.

What sorcery lies within these walls?

Kyle, a linguist at Peterhouse, commented, “Girton are a joke. Who does that? At least we now know which College has the largest amount of free time.”

The Tab is not angry at Girton, just slightly bemused and impressed by their misguided College pride.