Every type of seminar tutor you’ll meet at university

Exams and essay deadlines are just around the corner, meaning that once again we will have to say goodbye to our current seminar tutors and lecturers before tackling the work on our own. As a way of celebrating their unique and eccentric ways, we created a compiled list of each and every type you will ever meet at university.

The one who treats you like you’re back in secondary school

Clare don’t hide the truth, we know you’re trying to avoid long awkward silences. Don’t get us wrong, we all love the sweets that you give out at the end of term, it’s just that sometimes your over-enthusiastic interactive way of teaching can feel a bit patronising. Ice breaking exercises like writing the first thought that comes into your mind on a piece of paper and exchanging it with our partner to read out to the class can make us feel like we’re back to being spoon-fed information for our GCSE’s, when in reality we only see each other for an hour per week.

Calm it down Clare

The one who had a wild youth

Hearing your tutor talk to your 9am seminar group about how they always used to get off their face and skip lectures can make you feel quite tame, and as if you’re being secretly judged.

The one that’s just come out of their PhD

We come and sit down next to them only to feel a little confused and shocked when they stand up and speak to everyone in the room. You sense their desperation to give a good impression by the sudden surge in handouts and critical resources, along with the weekly email updating us on the most recent lecture slides added to Blackboard. Tension reaches its peak when a more experienced lecturer comes in to judge them from the back of the seminar room. Most people will pipe up and try to give good ideas, just out of pure sympathy – apart from that one guy who takes malicious pleasure in confusing the tutor by speaking about something totally irrelevant, pipe down Stephen.

Don’t try and be one of us

The one you see everywhere

And I mean literally everywhere – shopping in town, at the train station, maybe even on a night out. It gets to the point where smiling at them becomes awkward and you start to worry they think you’re some kind of geeky fangirl.

The fit one

Is it ever going to happen between you both? No.

I’m so smart

The one who’s a famous critic

So I found a really good quote for my essay the other day, only to realise it was written by the lecturer who will mark it. I mean is it okay to include this? Can I disagree with the quote? Probably best not to. They tend to sneak in one of their quotes on a lecture slide and try to make economic gain by encouraging you to buy their newest book – we’re already paying you our £9,000 in tuition fees Graham, is this not enough?

The one that takes pleasure in embarrassing people

They pointedly look at you and ask the dreaded question: “So what did you think of the book?” You begin to feel a sense of impending doom as your cheeks burn up while they just sit there and give a smug look of satisfaction. You manage to stutter a vague theme mentioned in the lecture that took place earlier, then go on to explain how you only managed to read the first half (everyone knows you’re lying really).