How to survive as a student in Cov when you’re broke

Do you ever find it weird that students are pretty much the only people that can honestly state that they're broke as hell and yet still own an iPhone, a Macbook and Beats headphones? Nonetheless, a cheeky Nando's is beginning to be equivalent to eating at the bloody Shard.

Your Deliveroo and Gosford Sains spending habits are actually beginning to look like a spending addiction and we think you should seek professional help for that. That's us. We are the help. With just a few little tweaks to your lifestyle, you'll easily be able to join the AirPod cult too.

Aldi or Lidl will always serve you well

If you live on the Gosford end of the city, there's a Lidl and an Iceland really close by that your bank account will be eternally grateful for.

Plus, if you live near Kasbah or around Hilfields, you might think that cheap supermarkets are a distant Coventry dream. However, there's actually a Hillfields Aldi tucked away that you've probably never noticed. Google maps it and thank us later.

Gosford Sains our problematic fave

This is daylight robbery

If you really desperately want to shop at Sains (we know you love it), then consider this: it is a well known fact that our beloved local saviour, Gosford Sains, is actually more expensive than big Sains.

Not by a large margin, but enough for us to say that for your big shopping, you'd better make the trek to the big Sains if you want to keep your coins in your pocket. Limit yourself – make sure your stops at Gosford Sains are for meal deals only. The absolute essentials.

Student discounts must not be neglected

The most important thing is to always remember to ask. You're not getting a discount if you don't ask. We know you can't be arsed to get out your student card but think about that sweet, sweet 10% off. It's worth it. Download Unidays because it's going to be your new best friend when you're shopping in town.

For future reference, a few places your can get student discount or free food just by showing your ID: Creams (10% off during weekdays), The Phoenix, Greggs, Maccies, Cineworld, KFC, Odeon etc.

For God's sake please just walk

Just Eat more like Just Walk am I right ladies

Listen. If you can walk it in 30 mins and it isn't raining – you do not need an Uber. Plus, it's Cov, so you can walk pretty much anywhere in 30 minutes. Close the app and suck it up. It's not like you can afford the gym anyway.

Not only that, but if you're like me then you have definitely committed the crime of getting take away or Deliveroo when you're within walking distance of the restaurant. We're looking at you, people who order K Rush on Just Eat – you deffo could have just walked there.

It's cold out here but I'm still dressin' like a thotty because a hoe never gets cold

Which means a hoe never has to pay that £2 cloakroom fee at Kasbah to hang up their coat. On top of entry that's £7, £12 with queue jump. Soon it'll amount to a whole week's worth of grocery shopping.

Either brave the cold, bring a jacket you can wrap round your waist or, alternatively, hide your coat in the club. We've heard there's plenty of secret hiding spaces in Kasbah or Empire you go looking for them. JJ's is too much of an open environment – you'll have no luck stashing coats there.

Get a Boots points card

Boots points cards are the only ones that are worth it because, let's be honest, we know you're in there all the time. Makeup, toiletries, everything – you need Boots, thus, you need a Boots card.

Every time you spend £20 you earn 80p, which is pretty good as points card go, and their vouchers are actually useful unlike other stores. It's honestly worth the two minutes it takes to sign up.

Get in to JJ's by 11:30pm with the wristband

Keep an eye out for any clubs that advertise cheaper entry depending on the time you arrive. And then ARRIVE ON TIME. Yes, you'll be there a boring extra 30 mins earlier but that means you'll probably get home earlier and get more sleep. It's cost effective AND sleep effective.

Invest in a bumbag

No one has the funds to be replacing their ID, house keys and phone on your drunken night out because they fell out of your back pocket.

Not only are bumbags in fashion, but they'll be your trusty companion AND they'll free up your hands so you can hold MORE alcohol. The perfect solution.

Meal plans and packed lunches

You put those down! There's rice at home!

You know the drill, your mum knew and it's time for you to know it too. Make that sandwich, cook three days in advance and three meals at once. It's going to suck when you have to 'There's rice at home' yourself but alas, if one wishes to one day be an icy bitch, one must pack lunches.