It’s the day of love, but if the idea of spending money and/or quality time with your current conquest fills you with horror and you want out, use our breakup location guide to subtly ‘signpost’ to them that this is not going to be the Valentine’s Day date of their dreams…

5. Cafe in The Gates

If you want guaranteed privacy for ‘the talk’, this is the location for you. We’re pretty sure that no student has EVER been here, and even if it’s full of pensioners they probably won’t be able to hear you.

Plus, if you are lucky enough to be dating a ‘mature’ student, senior citizens get a discount.

4. Kingsgate Bridge

Whilst bridges are often seen as romantic, looking out over the hideous DSU will quickly put a stop to that. Although it might be quite awkward if you are heading the same way to a lecture, the main benefit of doing the deed here is that there is always a quick escape route by jumping off, if it gets too emotional.

3. Klute

Upsides: you can get straight on the rebound.

Downsides: they might not hear you break the bad news over whatever cheesy tune the DJ is blaring..or you might get a quaddie thrown at you.

2. Bill Bryson library

If your relationship is interfering with your studying, ending it in the library is the perfect way to minimize loss of precious work time. Even better, the quiet environment means they won’t be able to shout at you for being an awful person.

Make sure you’ve mastered your card swiping though – getting stuck in the barriers does not make for a graceful exit.

1. DSU Cafe

If you are summoned to the DSU cafe by your other half be very, very afraid. The haunt of charity events and project meetings, no sane person would ever suggest this as a date location.

On the bright side, there is literally no other reason for you to visit again, so no need to relive that painful breakup…