We went to watch people break each other’s faces at Exeter fight night

Last night, 30 amateur boxers fought it out in The Great Hall for the second Fight Night Exe of the year – and it was a bloodbath.

Rumble in the jungle

The fighters were a mix of students and locals. Each of the fighters had undertaken 12 weeks of training under the guidance of a number of experienced boxers to prepare them for three rounds lasting two minutes in ring.

Any illusion that the inexperience of the competitors would lead to a dull affair was quickly dispelled with the opening bout between Henry ‘The Boy Who Lived’ Smith and Ben ‘Canelo’ Kalfayan.

It was one of the more one sided fights of the evening, with Smith hammering blow after blow through the guard of his opponent. With his face full of blood and his nose now Voldermort-esque, Canelo Kalfyan looked to his corner yearning for the advice of his coach, and probably a cuddle of sorts as he wished for the fight to be over. Smith won by unanimous decision.

From this point on, the bouts came thick and fast with each fight offering it’s own unique interest.

The next highlight came when a plucky 16-year-old local lass named Grace came up against university 2nd year Isi ‘Makes ’em Dizzy’ Irwin. Irwin rode the early flurry from her pubescent counterpart to show her maturity as she proceeded to ruthlessly pummel young Grace. After being declared the loser, Grace was taken home for fish-fingers before being sent straight to bed by her disappointed parents.

The best ringside support was undoubtedly for M ‘the hammer C (not his full name). His bucket hat wearing entourage threw condoms with images of his face on them out into the crowd, which was just great. Fortunately for him, he backed up this audacity by winning his bout against  Oliver ‘The Sledgehammer’ Scampton.

Bout 9 pitted EURFC fresher Rory ‘Leonidas’ Lorimer against Ivo ‘The Pink Panther’ Weale. What started as a an even contest quickly swung the way of Lorimer who fought with the confidence and unyielding aggression of a true Spartan. He bludgeoned his opponent so convincingly that the referee called the fight early for the fighters safety. Lorimer emerged victorious, not fighting in the shade like his namesake, but drenched in the bright lights of victory.

A few rounds later came the first real heavyweight contest of the evening between seasoned local 30yr old boxer Josif ‘The Sting’ Carlos weighing in at a massive 135kg, against last year’s EURFC Club Captain Ben ‘The Real’ King.

Carlos had the turning circle of a naval frigate and moved around the ring about as fast as an apatheticc sloth on Valium. Nevertheless,  King had to box smart to avoid ending up on the end of one of Carlos’ fridge-like fists. Smart footwork and an incessant focus was the difference with King winning by unanimous decision.

El Toro KO #1

The final fight of the night brought together Tom ‘the tiger’ Washington-Smith and the mystically names El Toro. The 1st round of which was uncomfortably brutal as  with El Toro did all he could to KO his persistent opponent.

Failing to do so despite two knockdowns, El Toro began to tire, which leveled the playing field as Washington-Smith came back into the fight. The remaining 2 rounds  were the most attritional bouts of the night, with both boxers totally spent, covered in blood, but nonetheless looking fucking cool.

Appropriately, it ended in a draw and El Torro was named fighter of the night after his 1st round efforts.

All in all, a tremendous evening of entertainment. Congratulations to all the winners, and commiseration to all the losers. If you think you could give it a go, get in touch with the event company: Prince Fighting Association.

I caught up with a few of the boxers after their fights to ask them about their experience:

Ben ‘The Real’ King, a man of few words eloquently put it, “chat shit, get banged.”

El Toro described what was quite obvious from the stands, “everyone has a game plan… until they get punched in the face.”

Doodles, Mosaic DJ and self proclaimed 10/10 articulately illustrated the evening as he said, “aha, the Doi Man.”

Henry Smith, in his post victory elation exclaimed, “When is the next one??!!”