What your drunk food of choice says about the type of Exeter guy you hook up with

We all have our guilty pleasures. We all have our bad decisions. And, luckily for us, drunk hook-ups and midnight snacks fall directly into this intersect. So we’ve matched all the classic drunk foods with all the different types of boys you’d encounter on a cheeky night out.

Here’s exactly what your drunk food of choice says about the type of boy you hook up with:

Subway

Let’s face it… always underwhelming, usually a bit disappointing and sometimes you wonder if it was even worth the hassle. You eagerly await it only to discover that the ‘six inches’ in today’s batch leaves you feeling a little unfulfilled.

Quorn nuggets

This is the kind of guy who does a humanities degree. The quirky liberal arts guy who once went viral on TikTok for moulding pottery shirtless. You mainly feel good about yourself as this was a sensible option: quite literally good for you. But if we’re being honest, there’s an uneasy part of you that feels like maybe you didn’t quite get the real thing…

Doner kebab

Hands down, this feels like a  great idea when you’re drunk. Appealing, seductive and looks good. But it brings you a whole load of morning shame when you wake up and see the various discarded remains congealed on various surfaces. You feel queasy and ashamed that it was inside of you.

Battered sausage

You’re disappointed, we’re disappointed; putting it plainly, this is never a good idea. Turns out they didn’t even go to the uni –  they’re military guys who came down from Lympstone Commando for a night out or older guys in for a stag night who told you they were postgrads doing an engineering PhD. Always looks more appealing than the reality.

Burger

You know when you’ve got a good one, and boy is it tasty. They’re a consistent, solid option. But, cards on the table, they’re something that’s better to invest in when you’re sober and you that should treat yourself to – because you are worth it, and so are they.

Curly fries

You nailed it. Quite simply the crème de la crème. It’s the fit guy from your 9.30 seminar that you don’t know well enough to approach outside of the seminar. They’re the ones you only find the confidence to go for when utterly plastered. But boy, are they worth the wait.

Home cooked chips/pizza

You’re probably in a relationship; you are prepared, you know you’ve got something good waiting for you at home and you (usually) relish the prospect of tucking in when you get home. But sometimes you do wonder if you played it a little safe, especially when those tempting curly fries catch your eye…

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