The official A-Z of anything and everything that makes up an Exeter freshers’ life

(It mostly comprises of TP and Venoms)

1 year ago

Freshers 2023

Results day, ah, it brings back so much nostalgia – knowing that I’d gotten into Exeter University, but wondering to myself, what actually IS Exeter like? Will I have to don my best white linen trousers, and fake my finest, “Rah, where’s my baccy?” Well, have no fear if you’re an incoming Exeter fresher, because I promise it’s not ALL like this. If anything, you have to embrace the Exetah, and when you’re about to enter third year like myself, you’ll shamefully realise you’ve adopted aspects of the “rah” lifestyle (trust me, you’ll learn to love the races). So, read on as I divulge absolutely everything I can think of that sums up the vibe of Exeter uni, and it’s in a simple A-Z format – you’re welcome.

A: Alibaba

Best believe if you’re an Exeter fresher, you’ll be seeing this place at least twice a week. It’s perfectly situated so that when you stumble out from a feral Fever Monday, you can guarantee some cheesy chips are awaiting your arrival.

B: Batty Bingo

When I say I was obsessed with Batty Bingo as a fresher, I mean it. There is simply nothing better than skipping your 5pm seminar for pres, followed swiftly by multiple Smirnoff Ices (yes, that’s acceptable at Batty Bingo), and drunkenly screaming along to the bingo – just your average weekday night. It’s really got it all, whether it be Oktoberfest themed or Western themed, get into the charity shops, and sort out your costume. Seriously, don’t bother turning up if you’re not willing to dress up and make an absolute t*t of yourself. If Peggy Sue can do it, so can you!

C: Cardiac Hill

Big yikes if your accommodation is Birks’ Grange. Good luck getting there, and I hope you happen to be experienced in mountaineering because this hill is NOT for the weak.

D: Dirty Beats

A classic Exeter night out: be it a Thursday at Fever or a Tuesday at Cavern, Dirty Beats is one of my fave club nights. Veering away from classic pop tunes, this is for those of you who wish to channel your inner “Rah, that tune is so dutty!” Yes, Dirty Beats is the place to go if you want some House, DnB, or Techno, along with all the fake blondes in cargo trousers who worship Fredagain.

E: Exmouth beach

I cannot hype Exmouth up enough. It is THE place to go as an Exeter student, especially during Freshers’ Week or exam season, when the weather is just warm enough. You can get a quick train from Exeter Central or St James’ Park and be there in half an hour. What’s better than some warm ciders on the beach and a tray BBQ? Nothing? Exactly.

F: Fever

Fever will always have my heart. There was a point in first year where my whole flat would go to Fever on a Logic Monday, Wednesday, Dirty Beat Thursday, Friday, and Saturday (my bank account is having war flashbacks as we speak). Every penny was worth it though, because it’s criminal to miss a Fever Monday.

G: Gap yah

You will have that one flatmate who won’t stop telling you about their gap yah and how it changed them. I’m sorry, but there’s no avoiding it.

H: House hunting

This shook me to my core as a fresher. Why does everyone get a house so early for second year? I wish I knew – shout out to the letting agents for always releasing them in October and November. It’s absolute carnage. Good luck getting one that’s close to campus and doesn’t cost all of mummy and daddy’s money.

I: Impy

The go-to Spoons in Exeter. Low-key very overwhelming when you first enter because it’s huge and has a massive garden (I think there’s upwards of 600 tables). Once you get over its size, it’s got a very studenty atmosphere and is ALWAYS busy, but that just goes to show its popularity.

J: John Lewis cafe

Controversial, but a banging spot to do some studying, or have some fancy cakes. There’s nothing quite like debriefing a messy night out whilst being surrounded by horrified OAPs.

K: Kebab (Mega)

A rival to Alibaba, this is another classic Exeter food spot, post-night out.

See: UNIT 1.

L: Lemmy

Home to Lost Saturdays, the Lemmy returned in 2022, when Covid had finally said goodbye. The drinks are dangerously cheap, and if you’re a fresher and going to live in Lafrowda, it’s literally next door. If you’re not a fresher, and YOU’RE down for a bit of sharking, this could be the place for you! (Note to freshers, “sharking” is when an older student gets with a fresher). The one downside is there are no kebab shops nearby, so sobering up is not an option.

M: Move

This is arguably the only DnB club in Exeter. They often have events with various DnB artists, from the likes of Mr Traumatik to Sub Focus. It’s a serious must-have for those of you who love a dutty tune!

N: Not attending lectures

We’ve all had the mentality of not going to lectures and seminars. “It’s first year” has been said one too many times as a reason not to go, and that’s valid. All your partying will tire you out. So relax, have a lie-in, and get a takeaway – your second year self won’t thank you, but hey, you don’t need to worry about that right now.

O: Overheard

If you don’t already have a Facebook because it’s “uncool”, change your mindset. The Overheard at Exeter Facebook group will be your gospel. Need a club ticket? Need a lift from Exeter to Surrey? Overheard has everything student related, whether it be finding your lost ID, or complaining about your bin being stolen. It’s safe to say, it really has it all.

P: Pura Vida

Everyone goes here for brunch. Everyone. Smashed avo on toast and pure vibes, it’s the perfect cure for a hangover (or studying if you’re feeling boujee and sick of the library).

Q: Quay

The quay is home to many restaurants and bars, all situated along the river. It’s absolutely stunning, and if you want some cute pics for the gram, this is the place to go. It is a long trek from campus, don’t get me wrong, but worth it if you need a change of scenery.

R: Races

If you haven’t been to the races before, you will do now. I would consider it a rights of passage to the average Exetah student, introducing them to the most “rah” of our students. There’s betting, there’s drinking, and there’s plaid everywhere, but that’s what makes it. You have to really embrace the stereotype, I mean it, someone spent £720 on their outfit last year.

S: SSB

Ah, the Safe Sex Ball. One of the most rowdy events in the Exetah calendar, this combines nakedness and drunkenness, and we’re here for it!

T: TP

You have to go here on a Wednesday, especially if you’re part of a sport. You literally don’t have a choice. If you’re not waking up on a Thursday morning with deep regrets over the mullet-rugby man you got with last night, then you’ve done a TP Wednesday horrendously wrong.

U: UNIT 1

Not sure how to feel about this club. I went a lot in my first few weeks as a fresher, and not much since. However, it’s very close to Mega Kebab, which is always a bonus.

V: Venom

If you go to TP and don’t spend your trust fund on a Venom, what are you doing? This extortionately priced drink is made up of vodka, Southern Comfort, VK, and juice. Mmm, nothing like chunning blue-green coloured sick after a feral night at the Piece.

W: White linen trousers

Everyone wears them: bonus points if they’re Tom’s Trunks.

X: eXe

“Surrey/Exe”: This will be the standard Instagram bio you come across. Rumour has it you now have to come from Surrey to get accepted into Exeter! I would say I’m surprised, but I’m not.

Y: Yonder festival

A festival during Freshers’ Week? Say no more. Home to Hijacked Festival, held every summer, this is one you can’t miss. With Chase and Status headlining, it’s bound to be one of the best music events Exeter has ever seen.

Z: Zinc

A great spot if you’re at the start of a society night out, and that’s kind of it. However, they do some rogue themed nights, which are fun if you’re with the right kind of people – genuinely, their neon night I went to in Freshers’ was so random but that’s what made it good. Overall, not bad, not great. It’s at the bottom of the list for a reason.