Look, you want to look good on a night out

You want to turn heads, make an impression, and not just through those moves you’re legendary for in college.

Nobody can argue that Sugarhouse isn’t a good place to pull, BUT you don’t want your clothes to be screaming: “Look at me, I’m a wanker!”

The feeling is something I, and probably many of you, relate to – the dread and confusion. How can I avoid looking like a dick, either by making too little, too much, or the wrong kind of effort?

No worries, let’s settle this once and for all.

Don’t

Don’t wear sunglasses. Why, oh why would you even consider this – where is the logic? People, let me just establish now that it makes you look like a massive douche.

This isn’t 21 Jump Street, you are no Channing Tatum and this is not a beach party.

Don’t wear heels. No offence ladies, but you look like Michael Jackson leaning impossibly towards the floor, but somehow still standing: maybe its the sticky floors keeping you up?

To kiss the boy (and not the floor), stick to flats.

Don’t wear baggy pants. Gentlemen, I know comfort is everything and that your trusty ol’ trackies make you feel like you’re going out in your PJs (minus the judgemental looks), but the point is just because Nikki Minaj has buns doesn’t mean I want to see yours.

Besides, look around you – you’re in Sugar, not Hustle.

Avoid Nan’s knitwear at all costs. Yes, it’s cold out there and yes the bitchy winds of the Lakes are disgusting, especially when you’re stood queuing with millions of other poor souls outside Sugar.

But man up people. Don’t end up wearing it around the club, looking like a tool.

Do’s

Black jeans for guys, skin-tights for girls. Less is more. Problem solved.

Pockets are a must. And lots of them. No handbags girls, men will end using them for all their stuff discarded after pre-drinks, and you are not a donkey.

Find somewhere for your keys, money and phone – that’s all you need.

Shirt pockets are all you need

Keep the warpaint minimal. If you need a trowel for makeup, think again – you didn’t pay £4 entry to spend half your time in the toilet touching up.

Besides, nobody wants an oil slick on the dance floor.

Deodorant is essential. This cannot be emphasised enough. Sugar is HOT. And if people can smell you before they see you in there, that’s not a good sign.

And if all else fails, find a dark corner… unless you’ve already done that, in which case this list has worked.