This is every kind of reader of The Tab Liverpool

It doesn’t matter what year, what halls, what side of campus, what wing of the SJ, you just can’t escape The Tab. Scousers and students from the Home Counties unite in their passion, or hatred, for The Tab Liverpool in comment sections and group chats alike. Whether you’re a mother, a mate or a Merseysider, you’ll always come back to the Tab – it’s the circle of life.

The Tagger

“Ding” goes your Facebook notification for the eighth time today. “Oh my god girls haha this is literally us??!!” Emily has tagged you in another Tab article about housemates. It’s so #relatable and Lucy is SOOOOOO the one with the boyfriend. Like, literally. You’re one of the most committed readers and you genuinely like us – and we like you.

The Troller

Do you have nothing better to do than send hate about articles we didn’t even write? You’re too angry to care about your grammar and when The Tab respond to your comment, a screenshot makes it to the group chat where all the lads think you’re jokes. Come on Keri, there’s easier ways to get a girl’s attention than trolling her.

The Parent

They only liked The Tab Liverpool to keep up with your articles and they comment on every single one. They are particularly excited when their photos make it into an article. They’re always so proud.

The Local

They love articles about Liverpool and how great it is. They share the same frustrations about living in Smithdown and Kenny, and understand the struggles with Arriva. When the troller is having their say, there’s always a nice comment from a local to balance it. Most often found commenting on Taxi-related articles.

The Carnatic Fresher

YOU’RE ALL SO EXCITED TO BE IN LIVERPOOL! ISN’T LIFE GREAT! WHAT DEADLINES? WHAT LIBRARY? You love articles about the 699 and Carni’s infamous menus.

The “I don’t read the Tab” reader

Don’t you? It really looks like you do.

The non-reader

What are you doing here?

The one who only reads the headline

For God’s sake. Open the article first, don’t make your comment if you’ve read less than half of the article.

The “I’m above the Tab” reader

You turn your nose up at the mention of The Tab, one of the biggest student news networks in the world with eight million readers a month. You probably read The Sphinx, how’s that bolognese coming along?

The former Liverpool Tab editor

You keep a watchful eye, supporting us and giving us grad job tips. You secretly think it peaked under your editorship but you’d never say it out loud. You don’t mind that we still use your photos.

The Graduate who just can’t let go

You always complain that Liverpool/uni in general/The Tab isn’t “as good as it used to be!” but you still share the odd article about Concert Square with an emotional line about the good old days.

The supportive friend

The best commenter of them all. “Yaaaaas girl ????”  they write as they share this week’s article about the SJ. Their undying support for everything we do ends when people recognise them from all the photos they are made to stage.

They are so proud all of the time

The procrastinator

You should be writing about the effect Margaret Thatcher’s government had on public service broadcasting in Britain but instead you’re finding out what pre drinks your halls is and letting everyone know you think we’re wrong.

The sports team reader

Wow. Are you not over it? We’re all kind of over it.