Freshers: Here’s which Liverpool University halls you REALLY belong in

So Freshers’ Week has been and gone and you’ve finally started to feel at home in your new city. All of the awkward flat introductions are behind you and you’re ready to become a fully-fledged student and embrace the new ‘you’. Have you suddenly started unironically saying ‘rah’ and purchased a North Face puffer jacket or are you strictly consuming Pot Noodles and Tesco’s own vodka?

Whether you’re a posh Vine Court resident or living it up with everyone in Crown, we’re here to tell you what uni halls you REALLY belong in!

Crown Place

Crown Place: la crème de la crème. You all wanted to be here, but only those lucky few have made it through those creaky electronic gates. The popular crowd reside here, roaming the itchy carpet in their Ugg boots and Nike sliders. The halls fall silent at 11pm when the RAs inevitably shut down any sound of life, forcing you to either concert square (before another Shindie) or your cardboard box room once more. One thing Crown Place provides is a peaceful sleep- those blackout blinds mean you’ll sleep like a baby, until about 6am when you have avoid accidentally flashing the builders drilling outside for the fifth day in a row. The only thing worse is the laundry room which only has about 10 washing machines, meaning you’ll have to be prepared to fight to the death to dry your towels.

Greenbank

The only reason you’ve ended up at Greenbank is simple: you’re a Crown Place reject now trying to ease the blow by convincing yourself that the bus isn’t that bad. It’s not all bad news for Greenbank residents- being the accom slightly further out means they make the most out of their social life and are especially renowned for their parties and the best pres (esp the sport ones).

Greenbank is a breeding ground for sports societies and gym-goers (you’ve gotta make the most of that free gym). You’re probably a social butterfly and Greenbank is the perfect place for you to spread those wings as the biggest UoL accommodation site.

Everyone you meet seems to be on the protein shakes and theres always a party going on, setting you up perfectly for Smithdown life in second year. At least you’ll know all the stops of the very, very reliable 699 bus route for second year!

Vine Court

Vine Courters live the high life, usually consuming only catered food or Waitrose shopping from mummy and daddy. Their drink of choice is Gordon’s Pink gin, but if they’re feeling adventurous they may stray to vodka (Smirnoff only, ofc). Vine Court is the home of the campus North Face puffer which is a staple item for most residents. Many are oblivious to real uni life for at least half the year, but then again, aren’t we all? Realistically Vine is just Crown but everyone has more money, a higher weekly allowance and much nicer food.

Philharmonic

There seems to be some confusion about where Philharmonic actually is, and its residents are the same hidden gems. You know it exists, you’ll maybe end up there once or twice but you’ll never remember how or why. Philly residents are a good in-between of Crown and Vine, a middle-ground of down-to-earth freshers who enjoy a good pres before heading out to Level on a Wednesday (the naivety). If you love a themed party, Philly is the place for you. You probably all share milk and washing up liquid until February and then proceed to fall out over whether it’s time to take down the Xmas decorations you put up last semester.

Melville/ Myrtle Court

Residents of Melville and Myrtle can’t be faulted, like true champions, they’re not scared of gritty uni life. Residents are fearless, perhaps because they’ve had to become accustomed to sharing a bathroom with a load of strangers.

The accom and the nights out are cheap and cheerful, usually a messy pres before descending to the Raz. You’ll probably only consume the cheapest Tesco own brand vodka (Lidl when times get tough), but with all the saved money on rent and drinking you can always afford an Uber at the end of the night. You won’t catch residents splashing out on ready meals, instead they’ll cook their mum’s pasta bake recipe from scratch every night, with the occasional treat of a pot noodle.

Tudor Close

Tudor Close is the dark horse of accommodations, even though it looks like a literal prison. Tudor Close isn’t renowned for its parties and instead is much more of a wholesome place for quiet drinks where no one takes it too far (I’m looking at you, Greenbank). Residents have a good work-life balance that sets them up for the rest of uni, with the odd party and night out here and there. The mums and dads of most undergrad friendship groups start out in Tudor Close. If you’re mostly sensible but still know how to have a good time, Tudor Close is where you truly belong.

Dover Court

Sorry where??? If you’re in Dover Court we really don’t know anything about you. You’re probably a post-grad but honesty, who knows? I’ve never seen anyone walk in, or out, of Dover. Never met anyone from Dover. Truly an enigma. All we know is that it exists and that people (we think?) live there.