62 things your housemate does that pisses you off but doesn’t deserve a bitchy text

You made the exciting decision to live together in October of first year after you had known each other for a full two and a half weeks. You've looked round flats and sorted out your Wifi. You're finally an adult, and boy are you ready for it.

But although living with your mates can be the best of times, they can also be the worst. You don't want to piss them off and complain, but you also can NOT live with them for much longer. But sometimes the issues just aren't worth the drama…

We've done some research and created a list of cardinal sins that you hate your housemate for, but don't quite warrant the dreaded 'Hey guys, can we have a chat????' group text…

1. Leaving food in the plughole

Just scrape it off before you wash it, it’s not THAT hard.

2. Malting and leaving hair everywhere

3. Not buying bin bags

4. Running up and down the stairs unnecessarily loudly

Bang, bang, FUCKING BANG

5. Slamming doors unnecessarily loudly

Slam, slam, FUCKING SLAM

6. Deliberately leaving your plate on the side when doing their own washing up

You’re doing them all anyway, stop trying to make a point

7. Leaving the house without saying bye

8. Not caring about locking doors or windows

I’d quite like to feel safe in my own house, thank you very much

9. Consequently not caring about being burgled

10. Coming home when you’re running naked from the shower to your room

11. Not answering the door to the postman

I’m not answering the door to collect YOUR ASOS package

12. Making themselves a cup of tea but not you

13. Making you a cup of tea but just leaving the tea bag in

You've just ruined a perfectly good tea bag

14. Not buying toilet roll and just expecting everyone to drip dry (even though you do the same)

What about the times I can’t drip dry???

15. Committing to a night out and then bailing just before pres

The worst kind of flake

16. Taking the bin bag out the bin but just leaving it next to the door

Mmmm, that bin juice

17. Having the more aesthetically-pleasing bedroom

How have you managed to make your fairy lights look like something from Pintrest?

18. Hoarding all the cups in their room

My Gran bought me that mug and now it's got something living in it

19. Leaving dirty plates for so long that the food becomes part of the plate

20. Asking what you ‘did’ today and then sniggering when you said you did fuck all

I never do anything, get over it

21. Using unnecessarily large tupperwares and storing them in the fridge, therefore taking up all of the fridge space

Pretty sure your pesto pasta could fit in last night’s takeaway Tupperware, not that monstrosity

22. Having friends round but not introducing them to you

23. Commenting on the fact that you go out of bed at 1pm

24. Not understanding your passive-aggressive washing up of THEIR dishes

I did you a FAVOUR

25. Not reacting to you ignoring them because the passive-aggressive washing up didn’t work

26. Shagging particularly loudly in the room next door

We all know I’m not getting any, no need to rub it in

27. Creating an unnecessary amount of washing up from one meal

SIX pans from ONE meal??!

28. Making you feel guilty when you finally snap and send them a torrent of abuse on the Whatsapp chat

“I’m really sorry, I’ve just been having a really hard week, my sister’s boyfriend’s dog died and I’m just realy struggling with it”

29. Leaving their shit (i.e. clothes, shoes, bag, general crap) around the front room

30. Losing their keys at least once a month

31. Ringing you every day to let them in because they forgot their keys

Just get your shit together

32. Not partaking in the communal house-shower gel

Don’t think you can just use my Radox Vanilla Bean without replacing it

33. Leaving toast crumbs in the butter

34. Storming into the kitchen and telling you about their day and their day only

35. Doing the washing up but just leaving everything in the drying rack

36. Ignoring a house emergency

This is when I need you the most.

37. Not thanking you for cleaning the kitchen/front room/bathroom

I bet you would say thank you to your Mum

38. Making the pristine kitchen/front room/bathroom a mess again after 24 hours

I bleached everything and for what?! FOR WHAT?!

39. Leaving wet towels on the bathroom floor

They’re not going to dry that way are they?

40. Leaving a TINY bit of milk left so they don’t have to buy more

41. Stealing all the forks

I bought a pack of four in September, and now I have nothing

42. Stop talking to their friends when you walk into the room

Were you talking about…me?

43. Watching Snapchat stories at full volume when you’re watching TV

I can’t hear Love Island properly because you’re watching Rory’s night at My Nu Leng

44. Watching TV with the volume on full when you’ve just gone to bed

45. Helping themselves to your food without asking (even though you do the same)

46. Noticing when you steal one of their eggs

47. Taking your washing out of the washing machine but just leaving it in a wet pile in the corner of the room

And now I have to wash it again because it’s been sitting in a wet pile for four days

48. Not texting you to say Happy Christmas / Birthday/ Easter

49. Leaving half-empty takeaway containers in the front room

Mmmm, love the smell of old kebab

50. Borrowing your clothes but not returning them (even though you do the same)

51. Refusing to turn the heating on even though it’s baltic outside

I can see my breath in the bathroom

52. Obviously stealing your face scrub but denying it

53. Going to the library at weird times like 8pm-4am

Just try and be an adult for once

54. Using your favourite mug as an ashtray

THE WORST SIN OF ALL

55. Turning on the kitchen sink tap when they know you’re in the shower

56. Not putting the lid back on the toothpaste so it goes all crusty

57. Filling up the fridge with their vegetables…they don’t NEED to go in there and take up valuable space

58. Eating that one slice of pizza that you had been saving

The thought of that delicious ham and pineapple slice had kept me going all day

59. Not washing their sheets since they moved in

60. Shaving their entire body and leaving pubes in the bottom of the shower

Someone’s out to get laid tonight

61. Leaving the milk out of the fridge

62. Stealing your socks after you’ve done a wash (even though you do the same)

I haven’t just got the one foot you know