We asked Newcastle students their worst flatcest stories: This is what we found out

If it’s so wrong, why does it feel so right?

1 year ago

Guides

Flatcest. The one thing everyone tells you not to commit at uni – it’s arguably worse than murder. You’re constantly reminded of a possibly very deep, and regrettable decision every time you walk into the kitchen. Oh silly fresh, how could you be so silly?

I’ll be one of many people giving you a wake-up call, do not live with a girlfriend/boyfriend you met in Freshers’ and decide to live together in the second year, it’s a canon event. Actually, more of a bomb – a very lethal and emotionally distressing one. Here’s what Newcastle students had to say about their own flatcest experiences.

Snog, marry and avoid flatcest x

‘She transferred to Northumbria a week after the deed’

Sounds like you’re the problem.

It must have been a severe lapse in judgement for her to change uni, however, she either fell in love and was scared or ran far far away to the land of the poly x

‘He got with two flatmates and then another girl in the flat above’

Talk about greedy…leave some for the rest of us. Were the two flatmates not enough?

For their sake I hope they bonded over the experience and became friends afterwards – or awkward acquaintances that shared saliva with the same person, how delightful.

‘Kissed my narcissist of a flatmate’

As The Killers once said: “It was only a kiss how did it end up like this..”

Thank GOD – it was only a kiss. Hope you got them a therapy referral for Secret Santa x.

‘Shagged one of the other flatmates’ cousins’

Not quite flatcest, but an awkward bond to say the least. Needless to say, you’ve both seen different sides to the cousin (so I hope).

Although, this could be a funny joke to spring on loved ones at Christmas.

‘Two housemates are in a relationship and a different housemate wants fwb with another one’

Now that is a lot to unpack.

Having one couple in the house is enough torture, but a potential situationship is hell. It may be time to practice wellness and abstinence in those four walls.

We all want what we can’t have after all…

‘Slow-burn romance that ended with me hearing him shagging someone else three days after’

Girl…are you ok?

Slow burn too – the definition of heartbreak. From flatmates to lovers, to flatmates to enemies.

If you can survive this, you can survive anything.

‘Someone in my flat got with all of the lads in our flat and the flat above us’

Talk about testing the waters.

I highly respect this, it’s memorable and iconic. A story to tell for years to come.

‘Shagged my flatmates best mate and almost got the clap’

Risk upon risk – both sexually and socially.

Sometime pres are a match made in heaven, from the kitchen to the bedroom.

The fact you said “almost” gives me the glimpse of hope that you did an STI test and it came back negative, congratulations x.

‘Two of my flatmates shagged, the boy had a girlfriend. When we found out we called and invited her over for dinner’

It’s all the drama Mick, I love it x

Absolute GOAT flatmates right there. Sounds like the sleazy boyfriend had the grace and decorum of a reversing dump truck without any tires on. Shame on him.

‘My ex managed to sleep with two of us and had an intense thing for one other flatmate. Only five in a flat’

Spoilt for choice one may say, almost too spoilt.

I bet the kitchen was full of awkward encounters and white man smiles.

Newcastle has a population of thousands, yet he managed to stumble into two out of five bedrooms? Easy access I suppose..