"I don’t know your name, so I’m just going to call you sexy"

Since arriving at University I have gathered, through firsthand experience and word of mouth, several amusing anecdotes. Here’s my favourite (obviously names have been left out to spare the shame of those involved):

It’s Thursday of my first week at UEA. I’m sitting in a flat, pre-drinking for the LCR’s Ministry of Sound night. I get a phone call from a friend saying ‘Get to Britten house now!’ I exit my building and immediately hear the sound of laughter coming from the other side of Britten. As soon as I turn the corner I am faced with someone from my floor, passed out right in front of Britten House. When I enquire as to what happened, I am told that before he passed out he had managed to:

1. Say he had claimed to be able to down a pint of whiskey and then been made to do so by the society he was drinking with.

2. Stumble towards a girl sitting under a tree, the girl quickly moved, but this did not stop him uttering the line ‘I don’t know your name, so I’ll just call you sexy’ to the tree.

3. After falling to the ground mumbling just moments before passing out: ‘don’t judge me… I like David Guetta’.

This however, is not the end of this story. After waiting 20 minutes for security to arrive (so much for a 3 minute response time eh?) we are told that they won’t be helping him back to his room or even his building! This then lead to a very much amusing group effort in which 3 or 4 of us, had to get him to his feet, support and motivate him to get back to the building by shouting ‘Go on mate, just a few more yards to the try line! You can do it!’. Needless to say it worked and we left him, asleep, in some poor soul’s bed. And oh, this was all before 9 o’clock.

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