
New rankings say our degrees are so much better than everyone else’s
Fuck the light blues
Oxford officially dishes out the best degrees in the country – with the most first and 2:1s
According to The Complete University Guide 2016, an astounding 92.1% get them.
Unfortunately though, the nerds at Cambridge are actually best in the country in the overall ranking.
We’re so much better than everyone
That’s well above St Andrews, who sit in second place with 89.6%, and Cambridge who are in third with a measly 89.3%.
In case you were wondering, Sunderland sit in last place with just 49.5%.
Overall though, we’re second with 989 points – just behind our eternal Cantab rivals, who pipped us to the post by 11 points.
Cambridge beat us to the top…
LSE come in well behind at third with just 953 points: a huge 36 points behind us.
They’re followed by Imperial, Durham and St Andrews. Warwick, Surrey, Lancaster and UCL round out the top 10.
The news isn’t all good: shockingly, we’re only 7th for graduate prospects, at 82%. That’s behind Imperial, St George’s, Cambridge, Bath, Birmingham and LSE.
Our Green Score is abysmal too. Oxford sits at 103rd place, with our pitiful score of 32.7 paling in comparison to first place Plymouth’s 83.
We rank highly where it counts. We have the 3rd highest student/staff ratio – an astounding 10.6 students per staff, compared to a stunningly poor 29 at last place Bishop Grosseteste. And we claim the silver medal for academic services spend, beating Cambridge and sitting just behind St George’s. £9k well spent.

So, some Oxford Colleges actually have a chalet students can visit and it’s big Tory vibes
Rah Bartholomew are you coming to the College chalet this year?

Katie Hopkins is speaking at the Oxford Union this term and shock, no one wants her
She’s going to be debating… veganism?

Oxford College asks students to sleep on mattresses in shared rooms due to RAAC in halls
Not really the Oxford dark-academia dream you signed up for is it?

Many students at Oxford will no longer be able to receive parcels to their colleges
Parcels will be delivered to a depot a mile out of the city and redirected to the colleges via cargo bikes

Oxford University advises students to ‘make sure your friends are in your debt’ in bizarre post
Coming from a uni which has produced over 153 millionaires

Former Oxford University professor on trial accused of multiple counts of rape
Tariq Ramadan took a leave of absence from Oxford in 2017 following the emergence of multiple rape allegations

Emma Watson is going to Oxford University in September to study a Master’s
This is the second time the Harry Potter star has studied at Oxford

644-year-old New College to be renamed Old College as Oxford says name is misleading
The university board of governors voted overwhelmingly to change the name

Do you want a fast-track into journalism? The Oxford Tab is looking for new writers!
Training from professional journalists with no experience needed

First year Oxford University student died in Hinksey Park 15 minute walk from his college
The Christ Church student died in the early hours of 23rd February

No more cups or placemats: Balliol slams its own students for endlessly stealing from Hall
Oxford students forced to turn out their pockets as catering staff crack down on thievery

Oxford University hits students with more than £180,000 in library fines in past five years
This was almost double what Cambridge students were fined

We’ve built the equivalent of Twitter for Oxford University students, say Oxfess admins
The new app is billed as an ‘ongoing anonymous chat in real-time’

We’ve built the equivalent of Twitter for Oxford University students, say Oxfess admins
The new app is billed as an ‘ongoing anonymous chat in real-time’

EXCLUSIVE: We spoke to the Oxfess admins to answer all your burning questions
How do I become an admin!!

Revealed: These are all the upcoming dates Oxford Uni lecturers are striking this term
UCU members are striking for 18 days across February and March

When faced with a professor being racist, why does Oxford Uni not take immediate action?
‘It’s tiring and disappointing and frankly, the faculty should do better’

Right, so now someone has come forward and is claiming to be the Oxford Uni poo culprit
‘The cleaners have seen worse, it’s their job to clean it’

Oxford students threatened with £1,000 fine after student leaves ‘repulsive’ poo on floor
‘This behaviour goes beyond any bounds that could be considered reasonable’

A dramatic recap of the Whole Zara McDermott and Sam Thompson cheating scandal
Remember when she kept posting open love notes on Instagram to him?

Co-star romances and age-gap relationships: All of Paul Hollywood’s biggest controversies
He’s back handing out handshakes on another series of The Great British Bake Off

Boo! These are officially the most haunted UK unis in 2023, based on ghost sightings
There have been 59 ghost sightings at one UK uni

MAFS gossip column: Jordan responds to fight scandal and cast knew each other before the show?!
The drama really never ends!

Tour buses and family dramas: A brief history of One Direction’s run-ins with the law
Liam Payne has just had his driver’s license suspended

‘You’re scared to step outside’: Two women share their stories of being stalked at uni
This doesn’t only happen to celebrities like Holly Willoughby

Another one! People spot a further editing error in MAFS questioning a staged dinner
Nothing is sacred anymore

Um, the video of Georges squatting has been revealed and you absolutely have to watch it
Give this man all the baguettes

Attention pickpocket! The uni cities where you’re most likely to have your phone stolen
I’m switching back to a Nokia brick after this

Meet Lauren Sintes: The 27-year-old model joining the cast of Made in Chelsea
Of course she’s well connected with most of the cast

Rugby boys and the cleaning rota: Just 19 uni things that are none of my business
The hygiene rating of my fave kebab shop has nothing to do with me!

From secret hookups to cheating: All the biggest bombshells from the Love Is Blind reunion
I’m in shock at all of these

Why do posh people sleep with all their mates? A very serious investigation
The Made in Chelsea mayhem has gone on long enough

‘You’ve made a c*** of yourself’: Shona shares off-screen chat that saw Brad axed from MAFS
‘Bradley said he was behaving like a caged animal’

MAFS UK star Chanita Stephenson calls out the current cast for being a ‘bit too wild!’
She thinks they’re on the show ‘for fun’ and are not ‘focusing on their marriages’

‘Go f**k yourself’: Luke calls out ‘snake’ in MAFS cast who ‘sold’ story of him having a fight
It was revealed today Luke has been removed from the show following a physical fight

Luke has been AXED from Married at First Sight UK following physical fight with Jordan
The incident was caught on camera