Wot i learnt as a TAB EDITOR

The game is up for us editors. Retirement packages have been finalised, desks have been emptied into skips and a fresh team are waiting eagerly to sacrifice a whole year of their lives in honour of The Tab. Behind the scenes the site is utter pandemonium, but most of the time attempting to regulate this hive-mind of activity has been an absolute blast. In all honesty, the knowledge I’ve picked up muddling my way through as an editor will be a lot more useful to me in dreaded real life than most of the course material I’ve covered this year, so I thought I’d share some of the more interesting lessons with you, my adoring fan(s).

It’s actually pretty difficult to predict which articles will go crazy. When one of our team (who ironically has never seen LOTR) found out about The Hobbit lawsuit situation we knew it was a decent story, but had NO IDEA how much attention it was going to get. The brilliant thing about the internet is that any pokey blog or news site can find themselves sprayed all over facebook quicker than you can say ‘Kony’.

Sam Ling is an absolute titan. Before my stint as an editor I didn’t really follow the deranged merry-go-round that is union politics. I still don’t care about it that much, but Mr Ling has continually impressed me this year. Reading the comments section on his blogs is always a treat: every ill-thought out concern from each frustrated below the line moron recieves an impassive, reasoned and completely over detailed response, usually posted at some godforsaken hour in the middle of the night. You will never win guys, it’s like fighting the sea (and you’re probably wrong anyway). Having said that, I always get the sense that one day he will boil over and Jonny Brooks will have to forcibly restrain him from running around Highfield slapping people.

Some of you are incredible at trolling. The exchange between ‘Jamie Hitchock’ and ‘Allan’ in the comments section of our A.U Ball article is one of the funniest things I have ever read. I’ve half a mind to track some of you down and sue you for severely advancing my internet addiction, which has jeopordised any naïve hope I had of getting a
high degree mark.

However, a few of you insist on taking everything we post literally. Here’s a health and safety warning: if you keep on doing this, you will probably end up slam dunking your laptop down the loo. News is the real deal, a lot of other stuff is ‘open to interpretation’, you get me?

Southampton really is a shithole. It was (sort of) a joke to me a year ago, but having ears on the ground makes this hit home harder than a sledgehammer. I’m looking forward to living somewhere a little less unhinged ( Portswood will always occupy a special place in my heart though <3).

For some reason loads of people think writing is a magic trick. Lots of people come to us with an idea for a story or feature but usually they say that they wouldn’t be able to write it themselves, implying that a) it’s difficult and b) us Tabsters are actually talented. This is bollocks (well ‘a’ is, anyway). If you’re one of those 500 words per hour overnight essay murderers then knocking out a couple of paragraphs about stuff you’re actually interested in is easier than falling down the Jesters staircase.

Seamlessly, this leads into my edam-textured conclusion: with your computer, an internet connection and a few choice phrases you have the power to amuse, persuade, and (arguably the most pleasurable) frustrate the occupants of Hartley library and beyond. Whether you’re writing for us (ideally), The Scene or your own blog, let’s see humour and debate continue to thrive in Southampton. So go and get creative (it’ll validate your existence) and, most importantly, DON’T TAKE LIFE TOO SERIOUSLY. It’s been emotional; so long and thanks for all the raised e-fists.