What to wear: May Dip

I’ve never taken part in May Dip, so really the title of this article is just as much my question as it is yours, uninformed reader, but hopefully by the time I’ve finished writing and you’ve finished reading, we’ll both have a slightly better idea.

If I’m honest, the idea of running into the North Sea at the crack of dawn along three thousand other students looking on (and probably a few volunteers with questionable motives) doesn’t really fill me with the joys of Spring. I like to carry out my beach based activities in a very British way and that includes wind breaks, lots of jumpers, sandwiches filled with sand and trying to get changed underneath your towel. I might be wrong, but I don’t think people bother with the last one at May Dip. But, then, every year people come back saying they wouldn’t have missed it for the world and seeing as I’m pretty sure that I have stepped on the PH at some point, in an instantly regretted fit of fresher rebellion, this year is the year I dip.

Fail to prepare – prepare to fail. In dressing for May Dip, you should take this saying and make it your mantra. Ideally you’d have some sort of knapsack packed and ready to go, with a fresh set of clean clothes, two pairs of socks, a blanket, goggles, a head torch, a thermos and some energy bars, but try and pack that at four thirty am after a night of drinking and you probably wouldn’t get very far. So for the practical approach, wear many a layer and feel smug about being snug.

image © weblogs.sun-sentinel.com

For those of you who have somehow managed to get anything resembling a tan, during these bleak winter months, I applaud, envy and marvel at you, but please, do everyone a favour and give the rest of us a chance. Now is not the time for cut-out onepieces or tight and bright AussieBums. Or if you must display your toned and tanned physiques, at least stay away from those of us who look like Edward Cullen when the sun hits them.

If you’re feeling particularly adventurous and want to display your exhibitionist streak, there are, as far as I can see, three options. Firstly the wetsuit – this can be accessorised as the wearer wishes, but snorkel, mask and flippers would add to the comedic effect. You would be warm, comfortable and forever known as the absolute joker that wore a wetsuit to May Dip. You’d probably be honoured with a character in the procession.

image © frankbrangwyn.blogspot.com

 Secondly, there is the burkini – quite literally covering all bases. Flattering, chic and so Nigella, you’ll be in no danger of burning when that bright, Scottish sunrise scorches over the horizon.

image © telegraph.co.uk

The third option is not for the faint hearted and as I’m not entirely sure whether it’s allowed, I would proceed with caution, but you might decide that putting what the good Lord gave you on show is the only way to go. If so, be aware that cold waters aren’t kind to certain body parts and it’s hard to look good naked when you’re hobbling back over the sand, trying to avoid broken shells and dead seagulls and dealing with the effects of ENS.*

image © mirror.co.uk

All in all, have fun, be safe and remember, YODO – You Only Dip Once. Jokes, you can dip as many times as you want.

*Erect Nipple Syndrome

headline image © Ben Goulter Photography