England lose deliberately?

Rumours are circulating that Stuart Lancaster ordered his team to give the game away in the dying minutes to prepare English fans for a summer of woe at the football World Cup in Rio.

England started horrendously, conceding a try within the first minute of the game to put supporters in a thoroughly bad mood. Being 16-3 down as half-time approached left Lancaster and co. confident of crushing defeat.

However, France almost spoiled the party by allowing England back into the game early in the second half. With the score at 24-19 and just minutes left on the clock, England looked dangerously close to winning.

Luckily, they managed to give the game away with just minutes to spare. Substitute Fickou breezed past Goode with the most transparent of dummies to hand France a 26-24 lead.

Hot under the collar, Stuart?

France’s fans were jubilant; England’s crushed. But one expert suggested this may be of benefit to our fans’ long term health.

“It’s really not fair to tempt England fans with the idea that their sporting teams are actually any good. Ultimately, England aren’t going to win the football World Cup this summer. They won’t win the rugby World Cup next summer. And the cricket has already gone to the dogs.”

Stuart Lancaster refused to comment on this speculation.

Pedants are reminded that this article is entirely ironic. Images courtesy of www.standard.co.uk and www.sportinglife.aol.co.uk