Being ‘daddy’s little girl’ becomes more complicated as we grow up

Daddy’s little girl. A term coined to portray the ideal lifestyle of a little girl. At the center of dad’s attention, daddy’s little girl is the one who outshines all others.

When dad is in a bad mood, she’s the one who can turn his lips upward. If he’s in pain, she’ll make him a card in hopes of easing the pain. Although it may begin as a fairytale, as she grows, so does the crippling pressure to please dad.

Taken this past New Year’s Eve, my father and I are awkwardly posed, while sporting similar hats

All a father wants is for his little girl to be happy while still becoming an admirable woman – at least that is what he will say. The truth is that he wants you to be all that and for you to refrain from shattering his expectations for you.

Therefore, there are several unspoken rules. Don’t date the bad-boy, or any boy, because no one is good enough. Don’t become a criminal. And lastly, don’t break any other rules that may have been set. Though completely unspoken, the pressure to please dad becomes harder and harder as you age.

The macaroni craft that pleased dad at the age of five isn’t going to work when you are x-amount of years older. The point is not to say that you have to be a better gift giver, but that you have to grow into who you want to be, while continuing to make sure that dad is happy too. From a personal perspective, being daddy’s little girl can be both the bee’s knees and the bee’s sting.

As daddy’s little girl, I’ve always felt the pressure to maintain the expectations I felt my father had for me. Although he didn’t directly tell me I needed to become a certain person, the small comments he made in favor of certain things were what I sought after. Disappointing anyone is, at least to me, one of the worst feelings on the planet. But disappointing dad, well, that’s another thing.

My siblings and I made my father a HUGE birthday card several years ago, and it remains intact to this day

Several years ago, I decided to become a vegetarian. Telling my mother was easy, and although she didn’t necessarily like the idea, she supported me in my decision. However, acquiring the guts to tell my dad took some time, and when I finally told my father, things became tense. Not because he didn’t agree with my reasoning, but because he was completely crushed.

A little back story: my father loves to cook and being daddy’s little girl meant that I tasted every one of his meals. My stamp of approval was more valuable than that of any food critic on this planet. The problem with me becoming a vegetarian was that I could no longer test my father’s new creations because they all involve some kind of meat or another.

Though I saw it as a great opportunity for my father to try out healthier recipes, my father saw it as me breaking a bond we had so strongly built. Even today, my father unintentionally expresses his disappointment, making me feel bad for a choice I feel so good about.

This is a photo of my father and I a year ago, before my brother’s band concert

The point of all of this is to say to fathers everywhere: as your little girl, we love you despite what our actions may say. That won’t change, no matter how much we disagree, though we ourselves will. We will grow and become young independent women that continue to want to make you happy.

With that said, we won’t become “daddy’s little woman.” We can’t allow you to make every decision and we don’t expect you to agree with everything we do. All we want is for you to love us unconditionally, as best as you can.