I’m still dating my high school sweetheart

I was never into the hook-up culture flooding social media. The thought of swapping partners with others and never committing to one another doesn’t really appeal to me. Call me Kelly Kapoor, but I find the fun in relationships in going through the motions of life with the same person: your part-time lover and part-time friend all in one nicely wrapped, familiar package.

My parents’ relationship is the prime example of love to me. Having met in high school through your stereotypical, movie-like varsity football player and cheer captain relationship, they ended up as high school sweethearts despite being over 7,000 miles away from each other (Guam to California) their senior year. They got married fresh from high school graduation, my mom got pregnant, and my dad went on to serve in the US Marine Corps for 27 years. They stayed together through many mini-separations that the military lifestyle often brings, including two overseas deployments around six to eight months each.

My mom’s relationship advice to me? “Be prepared to compromise.”

It’s without question that relationships challenge you. Your partner might not have the same views as you, whether social or political, and you might even argue over the silliest things. Scratch that: you WILL argue over the silliest things, including what movie to watch or what to eat for dinner.

However, I think that relationships offer more than they seem to take away from you.

When you’re with someone for a long time, you get to know their ticks and their quirks far deeper than a surface-level connection. You relive their favorite moments, favorite songs, favorite movies as they brim with excitement the first time they get to show you what really matters to them. You relive their childhood as they describe in detail their first pet and how they were only months apart in age: how their goodbyes were heart-shattering enough to bring about the end of the world. You relive and live with each other, over and over again, as new memories are created in places both foreign and familiar.

In addition to really understanding someone, you also receive that same degree of empathy in return. You always have someone to comfort you, perhaps even with words alone, during times of distress, and you gradually become more accepting of both your significant other and yourself. You learn to compromise, and grow in character as a result.

I’m currently in a semi-long distance relationship with my high school sweetheart, with three hours separating us. My boyfriend Michael and I started dating halfway through our senior year of high school, but we never really considered the fact that we would be attending different colleges just a few months later. The summer after junior year, he helped me get through a rough breakup and really became my best friend. Despite my constant friend-zoning and reluctance in getting into another serious relationship before college, here we are nearly two-and-a-half years later.

We see each other a couple of days out of the week, but that’s only because Michael cares enough to drive the distance every single weekend. That’s over 400 miles of driving in just three days, not including the lunch dates and Target trips. During the time that we do get to spend together, he makes me feel like absolute royalty, and I don’t think I could ever repay him for everything he’s done for me.

A high school friend of mine, Matt Myers, is still maintaining a healthy relationship with his high school sweetheart, Keana Aquino, as well. However, their relationship is at an even greater distance: try over 7,600 miles, from Pennsylvania to Okinawa, Japan.

“I knew that she was the one because every moment spent with her was memorable and enjoyable,” Myers said. “I finally met someone who I enjoyed going on numerous dates with – even if those dates were simply lounging in her house.”

He also said: “Keana motivated him, more than anyone else, to become a better person,” not only in the academic setting, but all other aspects of life as well. Distance has proven to be an obstacle in their paths, but they’re still going strong despite only being able to see each other during winter and summer breaks.

“It’s horrible not being able to see her for months, but once I finally am able to see her again, it’s just that much sweeter. Because of the 13-hour time difference, I wake up a little bit earlier just so I can talk to her and ask her how her day was.”

“I believe that it’s the small (and big, of course) efforts that keep us strong,” Myers said.

Maybe we have the benefit of dating our high school sweethearts, but maintaining a relationship alongside academics and extracurriculars is still a difficult task, especially when considering the distance. Nevertheless, the amount of effort you put into maintaining a healthy relationship with someone you truly care about is worth it.