A tale of two Souths: How the South of England compares to the American South

When I was seven years old, I left Old Blighty and moved across the Atlantic to the great state of New Jersey. I then spent the next 16 years moving back and forth between England and various parts of North America until very recently when I graduated from college and spontaneously decided to take a job down South.

I have noticed a lot of differences between the American South and the South of England over the past couple of months. This is how they compare.

The weather

First and foremost is the difference in the weather. Everyone in America knows it always rains in England, but what you probably don’t know is that this rain is pretty much always accompanied by a cloud-covered, dreary, gray sky that doesn’t offer much in the way of excitement.

In contrast, the weather in America – particularly in the South – is as exciting as it is fickle. Beautiful sunshine can quite rapidly become a huge thunderstorm bringing howling winds and violent rain with it. Personally, I would much rather take the exciting weather of the USA over the drab and dreary perpetual rain that we regularly encounter back home.

The food

Another pretty obvious difference between the two Souths is found in our choice of cuisine. England isn’t exactly well known for producing flavorful and exciting dishes, especially when you contrast our food to the sweet, spicy, smoky flavors of a traditional Southern barbecue. Despite this vast divide, there are a few foods that come somewhere in the middle of the two.

For example, you would be remiss to find a pub in England that didn’t have a variety of meat pies on the menu, and it’s hard to travel too far in the South without encountering a wide selection of delicious chicken pot pies. However, these crossover dishes are few and far between. Even though I eat Southern barbecue as much as anything else since I’ve moved down here, I would still give it all up for some traditional English toad in hole, or beef and Guinness stew. I guess some older habits definitely die hard.

The houses

Alhough it’s not true that all English people live in castles, there is still a big difference between the quaint houses you will find in the southern villages of England and the sprawling plantation houses that dot the South. Most of these differences are due to space restrictions that we face in the south of England (which apparently don’t apply to the castles).

Across the pond, the population density is like nothing that you can find in the USA – not even in New Jersey. Combine that with fact that England is only about the size of Pennsylvania and you have a recipe that equals very, very little space to fit any houses. As a result, we have a lot of smaller houses packed in closer together and just accept that we will have to get to know our neighbors exceptionally well.

The security

The final and most significant difference is between our security forces. In England, all of our police officers wear large, fluffy hats and wield bayoneted rifles. OK, not really.

The beverages

In fact, the largest difference between the American South and the South of England is, of course, the stark contrast in the way the two approach the delicious beverage we all know as tea. There are so many varieties of tea around the world – from oolong to green, chai to black, yet somehow the American South has decided to forego any of these “normal” options for a super sweet, super cold concoction that is perplexingly loved by all.

Unfortunately, it is due to this poor excuse for tea that I have reached the conclusion that though the American South certainly has a lot of things going for it, there are some things that were brought over from England that should have been left untouched. Now I just need to find a nearby harbor so that I can form a protest.