Why I never want to be single

I arrived at college in September single and planning to stay that way.

I had read so many conflicting articles on having a boyfriend in college, having a long distance boyfriend from home and being single that I decided there was no point in looking. My first relationship – ever – started in October. We were together for just over six months until April – and by the end of the same week I was in my second relationship.

I was single throughout all of middle and high school but not for lack of trying. I had so many crushes and (at the time) heartbreak over upperclassmen, classmates, and the recurring one on the incredibly hot, straight guy in high school theater.

Not the above guy…but I think Marshall loves Shake Shack more than his girlfriend

By the end of senior year, I stopped looking. I realized I had to – I had to stop consciously looking for a boyfriend, because I wanted one for all the wrong reasons.

I focused on myself, and by graduation I had lost forty pounds, written and directed a play, and couldn’t wait to start college that fall.

Welcome to college

By winter break, my entire friend group were all dating. Being a group of couples can be fun, as long as you know how to keep PDA to an appropriate minimum. Hindsight is 20/20 – looking back, my first relationship was passion. We (mostly me) couldn’t get enough of each other, and we made a lot of mistakes. We broke up because I was in love with my best friend, Justin – and I started dating him immediately after our break up.

We were together on campus for about a month and a half, and we’re currently long distance for the summer. We text every other minute, call and video chat when we can, send emails every day (100 days of Gmail – 100 days between when he moved out and when we move into our apartments), and maintain a Snapchat streak (forty-seven days and counting).

We share silly or inspirational photos from Facebook, Instagram, and Tumblr back and forth. We have monthly visits and we count down the days in between.

My sister on her first Skype date with her long distance boyfriend

As a person, I’m better in a relationship. For most of this academic year, I didn’t want to be alone. I didn’t know how to without being lonely; and there is vast difference between “alone” and “lonely.” Being away from each other for the summer, I can be alone – and I’ve realized it’s as simple as texting “ttyl”, putting my phone on mute, and taking a walk. It took until this summer to realize that. Before then, I didn’t want to be alone unless I was sleeping (and even then, I love cuddles).

The other reason I don’t want to be single? I don’t need to be.

Justin is my best friend and my boyfriend. I can talk to him as his best friend, his girlfriend or both. We can just exist together, cuddling, watching anime, movies, or John Oliver, listening to music, or playing video games, or even studying next to each other.

Eighty percent of our relationship is pranking or messing with each other. In May I snuck into his room and taped silly pictures of him, especially one meme with his face and “Damn Daniel,” one of our jokes, all over his walls and furniture while he was at tech rehearsal. He didn’t find the last one until June.

Damn Daniel, look at all those posters

20 copies? No problem

He pushes and tests me but is there to comfort me. He loves it when I rile him up and does the same in return. He has time alone and so do I.

He has time with his friends and I have time with my girlfriends. I never want to be single again because I found my match.

I don’t need cats because he is my cat apparently