Daily issues women face according to male feminists

While companies like Dove and Always, and TV personalities like Ellen have begun to draw attention to how the media and people’s perception of femininity seeps into the female subconscious, we thought it would be very telling to see what some of our male allies are noticing girls deal with.

Whatever struggles women face aren’t just between themselves and their direct friends and family either. Thanks to our fast-paced, social media crazed world, women are controlled, instructed, and shaped by 1000 different demands all at once.

The first step of thwarting bad behavior is education and awareness.

To do this, we asked three men about the obstacles women face and how male allies can help.

Ryan Kelley, 23, believes two main issues are with image and sexuality policing

“It comes down to focusing on portrayal rather than capability. Image in all sense of the term, not only whether or a not an eyebrow is ‘on point,’ or if the ‘booty is looking like a peach emoji.’ This illusion is claustrophobic, it’s unnatural, and it fosters insecurities.

“To add to that, sexuality is an issue women face. It seems that women cannot have the same open sexuality as men can. President Obama recently said something along these lines that we need to change the attitude that punishes women for their sexuality, but gives men a pat on the back for theirs. I think the issue here is that women daily have to deal with either catcalls, staring, people infringing on their privacy, and think it’s because society has turned women from women to objects. Their sexuality is overlooked, who they are is overlooked, they’re merely an object, which is inhumane.”

For Christopher Todd, 22, it comes down to unequal representation and the belittlement of potential issues

“Women clearly face a lack of equal representation in the hierarchy of the workforce or political arena, though it’s encouraging to see hints of progress being made in those areas. I would guess that the belittlement of real issues due to discomfort is also something women face – people often don’t like to address deeper-rooted issues or challenges when there are easier-to-explain scapegoats that we can point to, measure, and quantify.”

Connor Henderson, 22, thinks that the main issue is control, but we should examine challenges with more intersectionality

“Issues may include experiencing physical, sexual, and emotional harassment, lack of access to quality women’s healthcare, and disrespect in the workplace, but these issues don’t even begin to consider the day to day issues that face women whose identities intersect with other historically marginalized communities – i.e. women of color or transgender women.”

But what does all of this mean? Is it degrading to be asking men about the issues women face instead of asking women themselves? Is there anything that can really be done to change or overcome these challenges?

What can male feminist allies contribute to help women?

According to Ryan, men can change the gaze but women have to be the support.

“In terms of image, it merely needs to shift from how it’s being portrayed to how it should be portrayed. For men, just don’t objectify women. Look at them as more than just sexual objects, but don’t shame them for it either. Male feminists have more influence in this than they realize by simply not objectifying women, but so do other women, and especially female feminists. It should be a united effort, not a singular effort.”

Chris believes that it comes down to being understanding and open minded.

“Men can recognize that we cannot (repeat: cannot) fully understand what women face on a day-to-day basis. We should understand that there’s more behind what women face on a daily basis than that which can easily be described in a headline or the most recent study. Each issue a person faces is deeply personal, even if its experienced widely by a group. Each challenge will be confronted and solved by each person in a different manner. In essence: stop generalizing and start looking at people as unique individuals rather than a general population with surface-level struggles.”

For Connor, small disruptions go a long way in stopping oppression.

“When male feminists or feminists who identify as men create small disruptions such as correcting a friend when he makes a sexist comment, our actions aggregate to larger disruptions that may ultimately liberate women and females from internalizing patriarchy, thus breaking the cycle of oppression. There is no disruption, small or large, that does not have the potential to aggregate and therefore to halt patriarchy.”

The bottom line is that feminist allies are here to help spread the word. Women know the obstacles they face daily, but sometimes it can be helpful to combine that with what other people observe. If people outside of the realm of self-identified females witness the problems, it makes it that much easier for them to be part of the solution.