I was sexually harassed on a train. Then he found me on LinkedIn

At the time, I did nothing


I regret everything except deciding to tell this story.

A few weeks ago, I boarded a train from New York to New Jersey on my way back from my internship. I was starving, so I grabbed a seat in an area nobody was sitting so I could grossly eat my McDonalds food in peace.

Then, a few minutes later, he sat next to me. I thought to myself, really? This old man could have fit him and his long gray beard anywhere, but he chose to sit next to the girl shoving food into her mouth like a compact garbage disposer. Okay.

It wasn’t until I finished my food that the weirdness set in.

I found out rather quickly that he was one of those ‘I must tell my life story to everybody I meet’ people. It was just a few standard questions and stories, but I began to notice every time he laughed his hand would somehow end up on my thigh — then slide up my dress.

The first time his hand slid, he apologized and said he had “hand issues”. I’m still not sure if that was a joke, but at the time I just hoped it meant it wouldn’t happen again. It did. And it only got worse.

For 40 minutes, this man who was old enough to be my dad, talked to me with his hand lingering around my underwear and acted like nothing was happening. I tried moving around in my seat to avoid it, but no matter how I positioned myself, his hand found a way back.

It finally ended when our stop came and he said goodbye, but of course he had to leave me with one last thing — a pat on my crotch and grabbing my thigh.

I got home only to receive an email hours later through LinkedIn. Here’s what it looked like:

Yes, obviously he wasn’t trying to stalk me.

Why didn’t I get up or yell? I was in shock, I suppose. It wasn’t until after the fact that I was consumed with rage to the point of tears. I wasn’t just mad that I didn’t say anything to make it stop, I realized I was filled with regret that I let a pervert be a pervert. If I made an example of him by pointing him out, just maybe he wouldn’t think he could do that to another girl and get away with it.

It bothers me even more so now to hear people say a girl “asked for it”. I wasn’t wearing a dress that hugged my butt or showed much skin. I was wearing a simple dress and my mother’s old white ‘I’m a mom’ cardigan. It doesn’t matter what a girl wears, someone with bad intentions will play them out if they want to.

My case wasn’t as extreme as many others, for which I’m thankful. But now, I’ve taken notes as a lesson for the future. When these cases occur, we need to stand up for ourselves and, in doing so, other girls. Saying nothing is the equivalent of putting another girl in danger of the same circumstance.

Don’t let perverts be perverts.