Why Miami U is the best school in Ohio, America, and possibly the world

“So where do you go to college?”

“Miami.”

“Well, aren’t you spoiled? Going to school in Florida – ”

“No, the one in Oxford – ”

“ENGLAND?!”

Some people just don’t understand this great gem that lies within Ohio.

We’re the originals

As the popular t-shirt reads, “Miami was a university when Florida still belonged to Spain.” Why should we have to constantly clarify Miami OH when we were here first?

The love and honor has been going around since 1809. As the second oldest university in Ohio, we have been around for a long time. That’s over 200 years of history and tradition that almost no one can compete with.

Robert Frost’s poetry

Even if you don’t know much about famous poetry, chances are you’ve heard of this guy. Robert Frost once wrote about Miami, “The most beautiful campus that ever there was.”

If you looked around this campus, you’d realize he was right. Now you can see why Miami students’ Instagram accounts are nothing but picturesque red brick buildings.

Tradition

From stepping on the seal, to rubbing the turtle heads, to eating the beloved toasted rolls, Miami is rich in tradition. Some of them are a little weird. For example, only alumni members know why you shouldn’t walk on opposite sides of trees with friends.

Celebrities on campus

Oxford has been frequented by quite a few celebs, not to mention the ever gorgeous Ryan Gosling! Yup, Gosling and George Clooney walked around Miami like all the rest of us students during a month of shooting for the 2011 Ides of March, which was filmed in the Farmer School of Business. *swoon*

Even though he’s not the most popular guy in the media right now, 4 time Olympian swimmer Ryan Lochte once paid us a visit and swam in our pool.

Uptown

Oxford, Ohio, was once again voted the #1 college town in America. Clearly, that’s saying something about just how truly awesome we are.

Top ranked for hottest girls and guys

Not only do we have the best town, but we have the best people too. It isn’t hard to find your Miami Merger when we’re ranked #2 for hottest girls, and #1 for hottest guys. Enough said.

Green Beer Day

Speaking of traditions, this one is our best. In an effort to stop kids from getting totally wasted on St. Patrick’s Day, Miami’s administration purposely changed spring break to conflict with the Irish holiday.

How did the student body respond? By creating world’s greatest holiday ever! It’s seriously a college student’s Christmas. Why else would you get up at 3am? Only for drinking. We wait year-round for this magical day. And every year, OxVegas never disappoints.

$1 pitchers of beer

Friday and Saturday afternoons at Brick are a frat boy’s Nirvana. College is this magical time where you have no adult supervision, but also no money. What is a sober person to do? Go to Beat the Clock, duh.

BTC is really quite simple. At 1:00, each pitcher is $1. At 2:00, the price goes up to $2. And so on, and so forth until the bar opens up for its regular nightly shenanigans.

But you can always cross the street to New Bar where at 2:50pm, every pitcher is $2.50 for the rest of the night. Hence the name, Broken Clock. Nothing gets better than that.

Where else can you get steamed bagels?

If you’re still toasting your bagel like a normal person, check yourself. Steaming is the only way to go. Once you try Oxford’s iconic Bagel & Deli, there’s no going back.

It’s not what you think either. Unlike normal, boring bagels with a schemer of cream cheese, Bagel & Deli takes the word “delicious” to the next level.

First you start with your favorite type of bagel: wheat, onion, cheese, plain, blueberry, pumpernickel, etc. Next, you fill it with deli meats like ham, turkey, and meatballs. It’s carbohydrate heaven.

The secret is in the creative names like “The Sausage Fest,” “The Blonde Bombshell,” “The Tanya Harding Club,” “The Lookout,” and my personal favorite “The Messy Katie.” Some of the more unique selections are topped with Doritos, (“The Crunch and Munch”) a cigarette, (“After Burner”), or a cookie (“Cookie Monster”).

The Brotherhood

Soccer? We don’t have it. Football. Ehhh, take it or leave it. Basketball is okay. But hockey? That’s a different story.

There’s nothing like the chill of packed hockey arena filled with fog machines, the shrill shrieks of a blow horn, and screaming Miami students signaling the arrival of our boys taking the ice to get your blood pumping. That’s what happens every single weekend from October to March.

Only true, Miamians know how it feels to point your finger in the air and hope for “More Gooooals!” as you accuse the opposing goalie below you for his detrimental game error. Besides, it is all his fault, the sieve.

It’s hard to explain what it truly means to be a Redhawk. Not until you walk the same corridors as US Presidents, world leaders, CEOs of major corporations, or NFL stars do you really grasp the magnitude of what it means to be a Miami student.

And once you realize just how special that is, you’ll start to see things in a whole new, positive way.

Love and Honor. Forever and a day. MU.