An ode to faux fur, the flyest fabric ever

December 2 is Faux Fur Friday, one of the many absurdly specific national holidays that no one but the internet really observes. This one, however, might be worth making a thing out of, because faux fur is fucking awesome in a way that other textiles simply are not. It’s been enjoying something of a moment in fashion circles, but it’s always been there and its always been fab. So put on something big, fluffy and ridiculous and lets celebrate how good it feels to dress like an incredibly chic Muppet.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BM9kE3xjWm1/?taken-by=manrepeller

At the crux of faux fur’s awesomeness is its ability to make you feel simultaneously luxurious and ethical — a rare combination in both fashion and life. Fur connotes wealthy Russian socialites, heavily perfumed old ladies, cartoon villainesses, and the roaring 20s. Basically, super glamorous shit. But the faux element means you can pat yourself on the back for being such a high-minded individual as to not don the real thing, even if it is from a thrift store and ancient and therefore isn’t really supporting the cruel and evil fur industry (right??). No, you’re too upstanding a human being for that, you animal-loving, clean-eating, Stella McCartney-wearing earth goddess, you.

Basically, faux fur is truly the best of both worlds. It allows you to feel like a very well dressed, very good person while also keeping you very warm. How many other fabrics can you say that about?

https://www.instagram.com/p/BNEPJ5GDUh9/?taken-by=shrimps__&hl=en

The other praise-worthy thing about faux fur is that it isn’t all that expensive. Sure, if you’ve got $700 lying around you can cop one of these delicious Shrimps numbers, but if you don’t, there’s this one from Reformation, or like, a million things on ASOS. Faux fur, unlike most other luxe-feeling garments (we’re looking at you, suede, leather, silk chiffon), is an equal opportunity fashion statement. It’s the fabric for our trying times.

And like other clothing of the statement variety, a good faux fur is an excellent way to make new friends — especially if you’re around people who are intoxicated. Because if there’s one thing someone who is fucked up loves, it’s anything fuzzy. Seriously, just try to walk into a bar in a faux fur coat without some drunk chick petting you. You can’t. It’s impossible. And it’s also kind of great — because if you’re wearing faux fur, you clearly came to party.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BNXdmiTjcsu/?tagged=fauxfur

Meanwhile, the same interaction with a real fur coat could easily end in tears when said drunk girl realizes why what she’s rubbing her cheek on feels so similar to her pet rabbit, and you slink away in shame hoping there are no PETA activists nearby.

But nothing so traumatic or uncomfortable would ever happen while you’re swaddled in faux fur. Because faux fur conveys a sense of confidence with a hefty side of rock n’ roll edge. It’s high fashion without being high maintenance, comfortable without being dumpy, and statement-making without being over the top. It says that you’re head bitch in charge, but that you have a heart and a sense of humor about it. It’s like that girl you went to high school with who was really popular but still super nice to everybody. But even better, because when you think about it, that girl kind of made you feel like shit about yourself.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BNXci3jDQ3c/?tagged=fauxfur

Faux fur, basically, is goals all around. And the fake holiday in its honor should be celebrated thusly — you know, with the purchase of something fuzzy that you don’t need and kind of can’t afford and a subsequent night out on the town where you maybe brown out and end up hugging a stranger but then eating really good pizza. Or something like that.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BNXWKuTh-TG/?tagged=fauxfur