A D1 athlete and a NARP walk into a bar
A NARP went to Varsity Track and Field practice
Here’s how it went:
Phase 1: Warm-up Jog (15 minutes)
NARP thoughts: A little excessive for a “warm-up”… but okay.
Athlete thoughts: This workout is going to be painful, I just know it. Long warm-up = longer workout.
Phase 2: Drills
NARP thoughts: Oh, I know what that is. We used to do that when I played sports in high school. Nope, nevermind. Definitely never did that. …What even IS that? That just looks weird.
Athlete thoughts: Are we done yet? I’m hungry.
Phase 3: Gather around the coach to find out the workout
NARP thoughts: I’m not even participating in this and I’m scared. Why is the coach smiling?
Athlete thoughts: Why is she smiling??? Pray for me.
Phase 4: Mental Preparation
NARP thoughts: 4 600s…? I literally don’t even know what that means.
Athlete thoughts: I AM LITERALLY GOING TO DIE.
Phase 5: Just do it
NARP thoughts: Okay, there they go. Have a great time while I’m lounging.
Athlete thoughts: This actually hurts so badly. I can’t even breathe. My legs are going to fall off. Did we just start going faster?
Phase 7: Questioning if you are going to drop out
NARP thoughts: Oh I can see them now. That was much faster than I’ve ever ran around the Res and now they’re doing it again.
Athlete thoughts: I’m still hungry. I have a 3 o’clock class and now I have to shower because I am absolutely disgusting. I could just keep running onto campus, into Hillside, and never look back. Coach wouldn’t even notice… Ok. No. Just finish, you’re halfway done.
Phase 8: After it’s over, convince yourself that was easy
NARP thoughts: That actually went by pretty quickly. Not awful. I would never do that, but they seem okay.
Athlete thoughts: Why was I just complaining so much? It wasn’t even that bad. I could do that again right now.
Phase 9: Ice ‘til your numb
NARP thoughts: This also just looks really uncomfortable.
Athlete thoughts: Ouch. Help.
What we’ve learned
In the words of Drake, “Please start doin’ you, I’ve been doin’ me.” So NARPs, jog and take Instagrams. And track runners, we’re praying for you.