Pong: Dartmouth Style (the only way to play beer pong)

You may have heard that we play pong at Dartmouth.

This isn’t the same pong that you secretly played with your high school buddies in your parents basement last year.

That part of your life is over and any attempt to introduce Beirut into a Dartmouth basement will probably not go over well.

Don’t be like these weenies from Penn, ditch your high school drinking games

Dartmouth pong can be confusing at first but once you learn it you will never want to go back.  The Tab has put together an introduction to help you 19’s learn the very basics so you can all have some fun tonight, if you manage to get on table.

Pong is a staple of the Dartmouth social scene. So for any and all freshman wondering- what is pong? How do I play? Do not worry we have the answers.

Curious freshmen?

What you need?

• multiple ping pong balls (you will lose them very quickly – can be purchased at Stinson’s)
• ping pong paddles without the handle (buy normal paddles from Stinson’s and break the handle off)
• large wooden pong table (different houses have different sized tables and different rules too)
• two trashcans (to dispose of cups or anything else, also can be used to support the table)
• clear plastic cups (not red solo cups, our cups are smaller and can be purchased at Stinson’s)
• 5 or 6 beers per team (you will only find Keystone in frat basements)
• a divider (literally could be anything)
• four people
• a place to play (fraternity or sorority, or if you’re lucky a private room you have)

Finding somewhere to play

“Varsity” table at Chi Gam, a popular pong basement for freshmen

First, try to hit up any upperclassmen friends to see if they can get you on table. Second, venture out with a couple friends and ask to get on table at different houses.

Mondays are generally a pretty good night to get a short line on table because less people will be around. The line you get on table refers to how many people will get to play before you (keep in mind pong games last a pretty long time).

If someone says you are next- get stoked. If you get 1’s- someone is playing before you get to get on. You can sometimes get a ridiculously long line- don’t complain about it.

Setting up

’15 James Mock pouring his first tree his freshmen year

First step is to find cups, beer, paddles and a ball. The most popular pong formations are tree (11 cups total) and shrub (7 cups total). After filling cups with beer, most houses will play a short round of beruit to decide who serves first.

Get some good music bumping if there isn’t some already on.  It can be annoying when you have a distracted opponent that is constantly running to change the music or is on their phone not fully engaged.

This is a shrub

Gameplay

The person on strong side (left side of the table) of the team that won the beruit round will serve the ball with a pong paddle diagonally across the table to the other person occupying the strong side.

After the ball has been served, pong partners on both teams will rotate back and forth hitting the ball across the table.  Sounds confusing, but when you serve you will always be on the same side hitting to the same person, after that it alternates until a hit, sink, or miss.

This is called harbor – less rules and more beer involved

Aim to sink and hit the cups on the other side of the table. When all their cups are gone you have won.  There are no re-racks in Dartmouth pong.

If you sink a cup (ball lands perfectly in the cup) the other team must drink that full cup. If you hit the cup the other team has to drink half that cup. When cups are emptied they are removed from the table.

You can make a low save after a hit if you return the ball within one bounce, more on saves later.

If you miss the table all together or hit out of turn get ready to serve it to the other team. Remember in this game, you never want to be the one serving.

If you hit or sink a cup on a serve you have to drink your own cup of your opponents choosing.  Be sure to avoid cups, the median, and the midline on serves.  Depending on the house you may get one or two lets before you are penalized a half cup.

Cheaters

Many opportunistic upperclassmen who want to stay on table may take advantage of your perceived lack of pong skills.  There are small things you can do to cheat in this game, so pay attention to what your opponent is doing.

Watch out for people redistributing cup volumes to change half cups to fulls.

Drinking

Typically team members will alternate drinking half cups and will split full cups.  You obviously don’t have to drink with your opponent equally.

You can even elect to put water in some or all of the cups if you like, just bear in mind that others that are waiting may actually want to drink.

House rules

In addition to these basic pong rules- every house has there own variations on the game.

Flair is a popular pong outfit anytime of the week

Saves

Depending on where you are playing, you have the ability to perform a team save. Team saves allow either of members of the pong team to return a ball that has hit the side of cup and landed back on the pong table within one bounce.

Most houses allow body and kick saves (so much fun!!). After the ball hits the table, let it bounce off your chest and then serve it back to the other side. This move is generally called a chestier.

Some houses allow “slams” when a pong ball hits the ceiling. If a ball coming towards your side of the table hits the ceiling on its way over you can slam the pong ball back across the table.

A kick save is a little harder, but gets multiple swag points down in a basement. After a ball has hit the table, try to hit it off your knee or foot, then serve it to the other side. This move generally doesn’t help you win- but it looks super cool.

Calling lows

Furthermore, some houses with higher ceilings are always calling “low” on serves. I try to keep a more relaxed pong environment so I don’t really care about this rule.

However, hitting a ball that is not arched up enough in the air (think shoulder height at least) will get called low. Basically, make sure not to just lob the ball towards your opponents cups- it needs to have a pretty good arch on it.

Environment

Depending on the basement, there may be a lot of overhanging obstacles that can get in the way.  Some houses will call environment out of bounds, but some say the environment is in play (median, wall, ceiling, etc.).

Learning to master your environment is an advanced skill that can catch your opponent off guard and also is super cool.

Again, all houses have different rules so make sure to ask before slamming, body saving, etc.

Postgame

Whoever wins has the rights to stay on table and face the next team that is in line.  Be a good sport whether you win or lose and shake your opponents hand and end it on a good note.

Pong can get competitive sometimes, try to keep in mind that at the end of the day its all about having a good time.  Unless its masters, but that’s an entirely different discussion.

Looks like they lost 🙁

As freshman, people are going to explain these rules to you (probably this week), and I am confident you will all catch on quickly.  These are the basics, but you soon find the many smaller techniques and things you can learn about this game.

It can be confusing and even frustrating when you aren’t immediately good at something, especially for Dartmouth people. Don’t worry, we’ve all been through this stage and soon you will master this Dartmouth tradition as well.

@TheTab