I did a juice cleanse for 10 days and it gave me a terrible monster rash

I eagerly awaited all the trivial small talk which dominates coming back to school.

I heard it all: the places, the hook ups, and the jobs filling Georgetown summers. I forgot most of these conversations within the hour, except one.

A friend of mine was looking great and I couldn’t help but ask how she did it. She began to tell me about a cleanse. We talked over how it worked, what she did, and of course, the weight she lost. It sounded like the genie anyone with the freshmen 15 had been waiting for.

My friend Evie and I decided we should do it. We both ordered our ten-day cleanse and anxiously awaited its arrival. Finally, it came and we dived into a world where half an avocado was dessert.

The cleanse was simple. Start with five pills in the morning, a “just add water” shake two hours later, and a flex food somewhere in-between. You repeat this process three times a day.

Pills. Shake. Food. The schedule was easy, not eating was hard.

Every day I was allowed only three “flex foods”. The list included: half an avocado, one cup of berries, half a cup of steamed broccoli, unlimited cucumber, and eight ounces of unsweetened almond milk (a real treat).

Day one came and went, at least for me. Evie couldn’t stand the taste of the shakes, so by day two I was the last man standing.

Surprisingly, the first two days flew by. I stayed busy and avoided any social commitments in fear I would end up scarfing down a bread roll.

Day three was the worst. For one, I was starving and on top of that my boyfriend’s family was in town. Of course, I was dying to see them so I decided I would still go to the family dinner his mom had planned.

At the restaurant I was mortified: “Sir, is there anyway I could just have half an avocado, sliced?” They all looked at me as if I was insane. Which I was. But like days one and two, dinner and my embarrassment eventually passed.

Things came to a screeching halt when I woke up day four. All over my face, specifically around my eyes was a huge rash. It looked as if the area that sunglasses would cover had the chicken pox and poison ivy all at once. I was a monster.

I figured it would go way but something about it didn’t sit right with me. I covered it with some makeup and waiting until tomorrow. The next morning it looked even worse. I had the bright idea to go to a walk-in clinic.

I not trying to say I’ve ever lived down and dirty but I do have a fare share of unpleasant experiences. This clinic was by far the worst.

After the nurse took me into her office, which is tucked in the back, hidden behind paper towels and laxatives, she proceeded to tell me she had no idea what was on my face. She said she had never, in her ten years of practicing, seen a rash like this.

She had no doubt it would scar and even worse she said she was worried about my sight: “you could lose your sight if this rash sets in and destroys the tissue around the eye.”

I walked out of the clinic crying. I began to tell my boyfriend he should break up with me now. (“Go live your life I’m only going to hold you back from now on.”)

We then went to the emergency room. Four hours later, I finally saw a doctor. And another doctor. And then another.

It eventually ended with me, five-foot-one, looking up at four MDs gawking at me. They all did agree that this cleanse was the clear source of my problems.

Needless to say I stopped that day.

Rest assured, I lost four pounds and even better, I can still see!