Jordan Avenue bridge ‘vandalism’ officially banned
‘IU receives too much negative attention over the inflammatory things some organizations have painted on these bridges’
IU Spokesman Abel Furst released a statement this morning announcing students are hereby prohibited from painting the campus bridges found along Jordan Avenue.
“You could say it is a matter of a few bad eggs spoiling the bunch,” explained Furst. “The University receives too much negative attention from alumni and donors over the inflammatory things some students and organizations have painted on these bridges in recent years. Sometimes you need to use a blanket to put out a fire.”
Furst also mentioned how the “IU administration has been turning a blind eye to the blatant vandalism for years, but it’s a privilege that can no longer be extended to the student body.”
IUPD will maintain 24-hour surveillance of the bridges till the end of the semester to help enforce the new policy. Meanwhile efforts to renovate the bridges to their original 1967 glory are underway. However, the restoration will also include a punitive measure to help cover the costs of the process.
“With each layer of paint removed, any discernible responsible student organization will held responsible and will be cited with fines throughout April,” Furst’s statement added.
The aggressive measures are indication the University means business with this new campus policy. Unsurprisingly, students have not reacting well to this news.
“All of this is total bullshit,” said student and IU Cynics Club President Albus Dumbledore.
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