Everything you know if you’re from Fort Mitchell, Kentucky

More often than not, when I meet someone new, I tell them that I am from Cincinnati, Ohio. But, that’s a lie. Not only am I not from Cincinnati, I’m not even from the state of Ohio. In actuality, I am from a little town about six miles away from there in Northern Kentucky. That town is Fort Mitchell.

Although it isn’t always the most exciting place to live, Fort Mitchell has a lot of cool quirks that are uniquely its own, making it a place of comfort for those that call it home.

Vent Haven museum

Probably the only thing that Fort Mitchell is known for outside of the surrounding areas is the Vent Haven Museum aka the world’s sole ventriloquist museum. Yes, that is a thing that exists. Evidently, popular comedian/ventriloquist, Jeff Dunham has visited the museum multiple times. Despite it being our claim to fame, I’ve never been there and I know of very few Fort Mitchell residents who have, but we know its there and that’s what matters.

Blessed Sacrament soccer

If you grew up in Fort Mitchell within the past two decades or so, you most likely played on a Blessed Sacrament Soccer team. This little league sport was such an integral part of being a kid in Fort Mitchell that if you weren’t on a team, your classmates accused you of missing out.

Beechwood Swim Club

Many spend their summer days at the Beechwood Swim Club, where the candy is cheap, the water is cold, and the lifeguards like to yell at kids doing handstands in the pool. Oh, and if you want to be cool? Jump of the high-dive, otherwise you might as well swim with the babies in the kiddy pool.

Beechwood Vs. Covington Catholic

 Football is taken very seriously here (is that a small town cliché?). Each year the big game is Beechwood High School against Covington Catholic. The local news channel often films the game, the Beechwood kids paint themselves head to toe in red and white tiger stripes and the Covington Catholic boy don kilts and blue paint (I’ve never understood that – Braveheart?)

No snow days

If you’re a student at Beechwood Independent Schools, you can guarantee class is in session no matter how bad the weather is. Snow does not scare the Beechwood school board, and thus no play days in a winter wonderland for the youth of Fort Mitchell (except for that one time when the police department forced them to close school).

Subway dates

 Fort Mitchell has some higher-class restaurants for romantic nights out; however, when you’re twelve and going out with your first “boyfriend/girlfriend,” the Subway on Dixie Highway is the best place in town to spend your times after the final school bell rings.

The Children’s Home Festival

This annual festival features carnival games, rides, food, and live music. Every year Fort Mitchell residents head up to the hill down past the children’s home, and drink, cut loose, and have some fun. I can’t remember a year of my life when I didn’t go to the festival.

The Underground tunnel

Across the street from Blessed Sacrament School is one of the largest neighborhoods in Fort Mitchell. To get from the neighborhood to the school, kids have to cross US Route 25 (that’s a pretty busy road). To make the cross a bit safer, an underground tunnel was implemented; however, the tunnel has since become a source of graffiti and after school hangouts.

Pancake traffic

 Once a week, the Baptist church in town has a free pancake breakfast, and it is a hit. The only downside is it creates a ridiculous amount of traffic added on to the usual morning traffic.

Light Up Fort Mitchell

 Light Up Fort Mitchell is one of my favorite city wide events. Every December, residences place luminaries along their sidewalks, and horse-drawn carriages are placed throughout the city for everyone to take a ride in and look at the neighborhood holiday lights.

So, despite its lack in size, Fort Mitchell is its own town, with personality and pizazz, and it’s a pretty good place to call home.