All the people you’ll meet at Notre Dame

Notre Dame is known for its community – the people make ND what it is. And sometimes the people fit a certain Notre Dame type.

There’s at least one in your friend group. And if you can’t figure out which one, it’s probably you.

Super religious

The super religious is most notable for shaming you by being dressed for church on Sunday mornings when you’re in the dining hall wearing last night’s makeup and struggling to get your eggs from your plate to your mouth.

After hearing about your previous night’s debauchery, she’ll offer to light a candle in the grotto for you.

She’s also known for having all the answers in Foundations of Theology when you’re sitting there still surprised that Jesus wasn’t a Christian. She’s got your back, though, making sure you remember to get to Mass on the Holy Days of Obligation.

Beverage of choice: Church wine

The non-frat frat boy

The non-frat frat boy wishes Notre Dame had Greek life, but he’s taken it upon himself to bring frat style to Notre Dame anyway. He’s been seen sporting the Vineyard Vines pink whale even in the middle of winter, but he really shines during darty season, when it’s nothing but blue skies, Ray-Bans, and visors. Everybody knows the non-frat fray boy’s Christmas is Pigtostal, where can be found in a perfectly coordinated outfit of Sperry’s, chubbies, and a Fratagonia vest.

On the bright side, they are always down to go out any night of the week.

Beverage of choice: Natty Light

Ring-by-spring

The ring-by-spring has had her sights set on a Basilica wedding since she came on her prospie visit. To her, Domerfest wasn’t an awkward, sweaty mess, it was prime hunting for a husband. Her ideal date is a walk around the lakes followed by kiss under the Lyons arch.

She can also be found in the bookstore looking at the Notre Dame baby clothes a little too intently. The good news is her wedding will be your first college reunion.

Beverage of choice: Whatever her sig-oth is having

Finance douche

Not to be mistaken for the non-frat frat boy, the finance douche is the guy who dresses up business formal for class and already has an entire stock portfolio. He’s always referencing articles read in Bloomberg and isn’t afraid to boast that they’re even more of an overachiever than the average Notre Dame student. The finance douche likes to ask obscure finance questions to impress the professor, but tip to the ring by spring-ers – this guy is going to make stacks so he’s an ideal mate. His private jet will be your private jet.

Beverage of choice: Long Island Iced Tea (New York or bust)

The ‘athlete’

The “athlete” is the person who thinks that since she was the captain of her varsity sport in high school, she still counts as an athlete (looking at 45 percent of you.) Most of her wardrobe is made up of issue gear – that she bought in the bookstore. You’re most likely to find her leading her Rec Sports team to victory and recounting her games play-by-play to her friends in the dining hall. You’re in luck if they she ends up on your PE volleyball team though, because it takes all the pressure off of you.

Beverage of choice: Feve fuck-buckets

Obsessed with ND

The guy who’s been obsessed with Notre Dame since he came out of the womb singing the Notre Dame fighting song instead of crying. He is the kid who always wanted to go to ND, since everyone including his tenth cousin removed went to Notre Dame. When he got in, he posted a picture of himself as a five-year-old dressed as a ND football player with a cheesy caption about destiny. He struggles to find an item of clothing in his closet without the Notre Dame logo on it, but he is secretly in all of us.

Beverage of choice: Cheap beer in a Notre Dame koozie