Notre Dame students’ best ‘major-shaming’ insults

When we arrived as bright-eyed freshmen, the list of majors on Notre Dame’s website felt magical and enticing.  There were so many options–who knew anthropology was a real major?  And what did PLS stand for?  After declaring, though, everyone adopts a slightly superior mindset.  At a university as competitive as Notre Dame, major-shaming is practically a sport–that smug feeling after walking out of a lecture that only your major got to take turns quickly into judgment of everybody else.  We even major-shame ourselves; it’s hard not to after taking classes with the same annoying people for years.

We’ve all heard the classic stereotypes–who won’t get a job after graduation, who has to live in the library, who pretends to work hard but is really drunk all the time.  But what about the obscure ones–the ones people chuckle to themselves over but never share with the rest of campus?  We interviewed students from all majors to find out what Notre Dame really thinks of pre-meds, and what we think PLS majors spend all that time doing.

Math: “Were you really not better at anything else?” –Colin, IT Management

PLS: “They’re the easiest target—they spend all their time either reading or throwing unusually themed parties.” —Hanna, FTT

Pre-Health: “Was there an orgo exam today?  I couldn’t tell from your 50 angsty YikYak posts.” —Anonymous (Finance)

Philosophy: “I don’t know if philosophy majors are real, and neither do they.” –Jarissa, FTT

FTT: “FTT majors are bitter and critical because they fear their own futures.  Take Jarissa, for example.” –Anonymous (Finance)

“Aren’t they all football players?” —Grace, Finance

Theology: “So holier-than-thou.” —Hanna, FTT

“They have something to prove…especially the existence of God.” –Jarissa, FTT

Political Science: “You started out as an Econ major, but you couldn’t do math.” –Cris, PLS

Business (general):  “I think Feve is a one-credit course at Mendoza, because it’s the only thing that business majors attend on a regular basis.” —Ray, Mechanical Engineering

“‘Did you add those numbers all by yourself?’ ‘Nope, it was a group project.'” –Colin, IT Management

“You got all A’s and a D in Business Ethics–Goldman Sucks is sure to hire you!”–Ryan, Finance

“‘Business classes’ are just a fancy front for ‘schmoozing, golf lessons, and giving people patronizing nicknames.'” –Katie, English

Management Consulting: “You picked the only major that won’t get you a management consulting job.”  –Ray, Mechanical Engineering

Accounting: “I know it’s a real job, but all I can think of is Kevin from the Office.” –Katie, English

English: “You’re not cool enough to be PLS.” –Cris, PLS

Engineering: “The general question to decide if you want to be an engineer: Do you hate yourself?  If yes, then you should be one.  If no, then find another major.” —Ray, Mechanical Engineering

Psychology: “Stop diagnosing your roommates.  No, it’s not a Freudian slip every time I misspell something.” –Katie, English

Sociology: “I get that you wanted to do ‘science’ without any actual research, but at least try Psych.” –Anonymous (FTT)

Computer Science: “Get ready to be a code monkey at your job.” –Ryan, Finance

Computer Engineering: “You just had to one-up all the comp-sci kids, didn’t you?” –Anonymous, Computer Science

Architecture: “I’ve never actually encountered one–they spend all day and night in the studio. If you do find one, don’t approach.  They scare easily.” –Gaby, Finance