American Horror Story: Towers
The Allegheny County jail has nothing on these buildings
The original proposal for the Litchfield Towers was introduced in June of 1960, calling for three buildings that would be occupied by male undergraduate and graduate students. At a cost of $14 million, the three buildings, dubbed A, B, and C (creative, right?) were officially open for housing in September of 1963.
And so they have been for the past 53 years.
However, living in one of these three buildings is a feat in-and-of itself. For starters, each building is circular. If you’re riding by on Fifth or Forbes Avenue, and you see three cylindrical eyesores, they are none other than the infamous Litchfield Towers.
But the annular designs do not stop there. The hallways are ring-shaped as well.
In a cow slaughterhouse, the cattle are led through a neverending spiral pathway in order to confuse them before their death. The hallways in Towers are eerily similar. Every door is the same. The carpeting and wall color never changes. Sometimes, you forget where you are. The numbers above the doors are the only directions you have. Your head is spinning. You feel trapped, closed off from the world.
Am I being dramatic? I don’t think so.
Jutting out from every hallway are twenty identical, pie-shaped rooms. Yes, pie-shaped. Did you expect anything else from a circular building? In Towers A and B, these jail cells are approximately 17′ x 11′ and house two people.
For anyone who wants a private room, you’re looking at a 17′ x 6.5′ room in Tower C. Every space features two closets with no doors, a long mirror (for visual proof that the “freshman fifteen” is real), and two small windows that serve no purpose, other than letting in cold air.
From a more technical standpoint, here is the design for a typical floor in Litchfield Towers A and B. Hopefully this will help with visualizing the “pizza pie” reference. Every room is nothing more than a sliver – an unsatisfyingly slim piece of the pie.
Your roommate’s belongings become your own…
…it’s a claustrophobic’s worst nightmare…
…and the fluorescent lighting doesn’t exactly help with the ambiance.
This is what $3,150+ per semester will buy you.
Your room should be the one place at school where you can be at peace. You should never feel closed in, stuck in a pie-shaped closet. Amenities in Towers include the occasional cockroach, overflowing toilets, and next door neighbors who yell at their video games until 3am (and you can hear them clearly through the paper thin walls).
When it comes to picking a residence hall, it might be a good idea to judge a book by its cover.