What not to do at a Rutgers dage
It’s daylight out so remember, people can see you do all the shameful things you’d normally do at a party
With ‘dage’ season approaching quickly, there are a few tips I think Rutgers students could sure use if they want to have a successful day of partying. There’s something far more interesting about drinking during the day than at night. Part of it is that you can easily see all of the funny things that happen at a party in the day light, which can either be really great or really bad.
Don’t go to a dage on an empty stomach
I know you are going to want to crack a beer the moment you wake up and find out it’s 80 degrees on a Wednesday morning, but you should probably grab some food at the dining hall before hand. When you’re at the age you’re going to slowly realize that your tolerance has gone down a shit ton, and that’s because you were too eager to drink a natty ice when you woke up without grabbing a taylor ham egg and cheese. Now you’re even starting to try and remember if you even brushed your teeth, ya filthy animal. Get your ass to Brower, quickly.
Don’t boot in the backyard
I speak from experience when I say booting in front of everyone at the dage is never cool. Side note: to that person’s shoes on Cinco De Mayo last year, i apologize. Even though your drunk self thinks since you pissed in the corner that means the outdoors is your bathroom. There is a world inside where you can boot, and obviously rally, and if you don’t rally pack up your bags and transfer to Penn State, already. Stop wasting our time.
Don’t play “Stump” if you’re too drunk
If you’ve had one too many drinks, realize that there are so many other fun drinking games you can play that don’t involve you throwing a hammer in the air. Listen, you’re in college, I know they don’t have a class called “Things You Shouldn’t Do While Intoxicated 101”, but it’s kind of common sense that being too drunk and throwing a blunt object in the air near your face isn’t exactly going to get you into graduate school, so put the hammer down and grab a pong ball.
DO have fun
It’s beautiful out, you could be in class today, but instead you’re drinking out in the sun with a bunch of your friends instead of being productive. There’s nothing better than that. So help me god, if I see someone just standing around at a dage acting like they’re not having any fun at all, I will run inside, print out an application for Penn State, and force you to fill it out write in front of me. Have fun, that’s what a dage is for, don’t be a buzzkill.