Why that HuffPo blogger has no right to tell the women of the SEC how to dress

A recent Huffington Post article by Rebecca Walden, which has since been taken down, sparked controversy, with many female students speaking out about the importance of allowing young women of the SEC to dress any way they choose.  

I am not here to dismiss Rebecca Walden’s comments – I am here to define my relationship to them.

As of late, women’s clothing seems to be a huge topic of conversation in the media. An elder degrades a young woman’s choice of attire – there is backlash. A judge tells a young woman that she should have worn something else, or that she should have kept her knees together to avoid rape – there is backlash.

Then the dust settles, until another young women is sexually assaulted. We blame her; her intoxication levels, her friends, her attire. And then we forget. When will we stop with this media rat race, dragging each other through the mud, and laying blame on all these external factors? Is it really the way young women dress that is so offensive to Rebecca Walden, or is it something more? I believe there is a systemic, culture issue at play here; it is the issue of adolescence, growth, and self realization. Young adults do not always make the best decisions, and this is entirely okay.

There seems to be a lack of expression and individuality in American culture, and particularly in the South. Rebecca Walde’s fear for young women is that they are not respecting themselves, and they are searching for validation in drunk frat boys who grope their ass, rather than within themselves. She is not wrong in this fear. There are many young women who lack self respect, but this stems from a lack of understanding. Universities are filled with 18-24 year olds who are defining their direction in life – their interests, their friend groups, and their morals. Let us not forget the constant pressures from professors, relationships, and parents. What we are left with is a vague sense of drowning.

Respect is one of the last things on college student’s mind after a week of exams, homework, classes, job shifts, and relationship drama. Very few people come into college knowing who they are and what they want, and almost all students leave college feeling more confused than when they started. We spend four years in an intuition that pushes us to question our morals, backgrounds, customs, personal identities, and everything else under the sun. We are overwhelmed with a million theories of how a process should work, how one should philosophize about the world, and how one should deal with the many individuals of the world, yet we have almost no experience in the real world. Of course we feel lost. But we are figuring it all out, and we should not be judged for this. Just as you would never put down at a child learning to walk, talk, and live – do not ridicule and criticize us in our learning process.

Fashion is a way we find ourselves, a form of self expression in a culture so void of such freedom. Sometimes this expression comes in the form of a little black dress, cowboy boots, and a beer coozie in my purse. Sometimes it comes from a cute sundress and sneakers. And other days it is all black jump suit, black heels, and black lip stick as I raise my middle finger to the world. As a young women, I reserve the right to express myself. And this expression should be nurtured and let out – this is our way of healing.

To speak to Rebecca Walden’s point of girls dressing up like they “belonged in a Victoria’s Secret fashion show,” there is some truth to this. Young women wish to express our sexuality in the same way as men have been allowed to, and perhaps we cross the line society has drawn for us in the process. 

If I had the body to dress like a Victoria’s Secret angel, I would. And I would bring the confidence to hush up anyone who had objections to my attire. My voice should not be quieted because of an arbitrary standard or idea put in place by our predecessors.

I will not take off my heels. My lipstick may be black one day, and neon pink the next – perhaps my face is be covered in glitter while I put on my angel wings. If I desire to dress a certain way, then I shall. If I desire to think a certain way, to believe in difficult ideas, and act in an “abnormal” way, I will. It’s time you learn to accept me as I stumble through this life. I cannot pretend I am the picture perfect, wife-type going to church every Sunday in white linen. And to the girls that are – more power to you! Just do what you want, say how you feel, and keeping discovering yourself. A standard is only a regulation put in place by those who wish to exert control and a form of order. Standards rarely exist to benefit an individual person. Think of yourself, think about yourself, and be yourself. It is what makes life worth living.