The ultimate Mardi Gras survival guide

The countdown to my first Mardi Gras (or Carnival as the locals call it) has begun, and I’m honestly not sure if I’m mentally, physically, or emotionally ready for it. To get prepared I’ve asked everyone from my favorite Bruff workers to my RA’s to my NOLA native Uber drivers for tips so that I don’t end up dying.

The Tab compiled all the best tips into one convenient place and decided to share them with y’all.

Krewe du Vieux outfits on point

Stay out of legal trouble

This is good advice year-round and not just for the next couple weeks, but it’s especially important to reiterate now — because if you are arrested, NOPD won’t release you from jail until after Fat Tuesday. The city basically shuts down and ceases to function during Carnival, so it doesn’t matter if your dad invented Toaster Strudel, you’re still not gonna get sprung.

This would suck for two reasons:

1) Because you would miss the rest of the Mardi party for prison

2) You would be sober. And sober is not a state of existence that Tulane students generally enjoy being in.

Also keep in mind that NOPD officers are going to be overworked and low on patience, so try your best not to get in their way.

Shoutout to this very patient NOPD officer for not arresting my belligerently drunk friend that one night

If you do find yourself in trouble with the law, Tulane has the hookup with a lawyer who has been getting students out of tickets and jail time for the past thirty years, and at a reduced cost. His name is Fred King, and you should probably save his number in your phone (504-913-1666).

Keep in mind the things that will almost definitely get you arrested:

• Public urination
• Drunkenly arguing with police officers
• Bar fighting/pissing off bouncers

What to pack

Girls, leave your purses at home so they won’t get lost or stolen, and don’t wear anything expensive or important to you either. Your best bet is a fanny pack — it could be hard to feel someone unzipping your backpack and taking your wallet in the crazy crowds. However, backpacks (or better yet, Camelbak backpacks) could come in handy to carry water and snacks; lines and wait times for food and drink will be long.

The fanny pack: your new best friend

In your fanny pack you should carry:

• Pocket pack of tissues and hand sanitizer for the disgusting Porta Potties and bar bathrooms
• At least $25 in cash (many vendors/cabs prefer or only accept cash)
• Room key and splash card
• Portable charging bank for your phone
• ID and health insurance card

What to wear

Mardi is not the time to be conservative. The crazier you dress, the more you’ll fit in. Purple, gold, and green are the official colors obviously. Girls usually wear printed, neon, or shiny leggings paired with fun t-shirts and sweatshirts with absurd sayings. However, tutus, onesies, and halloween accessories are also widely worn — anything goes, really. You can also opt for one of those perlis shirts, also known as the purple, gold, and green rugby or polo shirts, but they’re stupidly expensive.

Don’t forget to accessorize with masks, face paint, flash tats, feather boas, and of course beads. Guys should get into the spirit as well! It’s been freezing lately, so dress accordingly and layer up. Nothing would be worse than shivering outside in 40 degree weather for hours.

This guy is well prepared for the festivities. Be like this guy

If you haven’t gotten your outfits for Mardi Gras yet, get on it! The thrift stores on Magazine street are worth a visit, but Amazon also has a variety of options that might get here in time with Prime shipping.

An important note: wear comfortable, closed-toe shoes that you can get dirty because you will be walking and on your feet a LOT.

Plan ahead

You can never be too prepared

It’s likely that your phone will die/you’ll be blackout drunk/separated from your friends at some point during the festivities. Write your emergency contact numbers on your arm in Sharpie so that worse case scenario, you can call them from a good samaritan’s phone. I’ve also been told that cell service will be sketchier than the guy trying to buy you a drink at TJ Quill’s, so it’s a good idea to plan out a time and place to meet up if you get separated or decide to split up. Be sure to download the parade route app on your phone, and figure out transportation and bathrooms ahead of time. Uber surge pricing is going to be absurd, so keep some cab numbers in your phone, and consider taking the streetcar. Just don’t forget to have $1.25 in cash or coins.

Pace yourself

One hand grenade = 5 standard drinks

Mardi Gras is a marathon, not a sprint. Don’t drink too much at the pregame and then become an incoherent mess once you’re at your destination. Your friends are not going to want to take care of you. Drink lots of water and eat a decent meal before you leave for the festivities. Also be careful of super sugary, super alcoholic drinks like daiquiris, hurricanes, and hand grenades.

Keep in mind that you don’t need to go to every single big parade. Pick and choose which ones you’ll brave the crowds for, but don’t feel bad about missing one or two – there’s always next year. Take the time to rest and recover so that you can fully enjoy the ones you do attend.

Out of the 80 krewes of Mardi Gras, the parades that are must-sees are:

• Thursday, February 4: Muses is the first official parade that kicks off the Mardi Gras celebrations, and is known for its all-female krewe and cool throws like decorated shoes, lighted necklaces, and purses.

• Saturday, February 6: Endymion is the first of the three super krewes, which are defined by their massive and extravagant super floats, with fiber-optic lighting and hundreds of riders. They also often have celebrity grand marshals and monarchs. Locals will stake out spots along the parade route hours beforehand to get a good position to view the floats and catch throws.

• Sunday, February 7: Bacchus is a super krewe known for having over 30 animated super floats, and Las Vegas-style entertainment.

• Monday, February 8: Orpheus is another super krewe worth seeing, with hugely popular throws, including four foot-long stuffed dragons and signature light-up beads. The Zulu krewe also hosts a Lundi Gras Festival in Woldenberg park from 10-5, with music performances and local food vendors.

• Tuesday, February 9: The Zulu krewe began in 1909 as a way for the African American community to join the Mardi Gras celebrations, since other krewes often maintained exclusive memberships (read: white males). Zulu is well known both for veering off the parade route and for handing out decorated coconuts as throws. Rex began in 1872, and is the founder of many Mardi Gras traditions, including the purple, green, and gold Carnival colors and the collectible doubloon coins.

If you’re feeling up for it, go ahead and participate in the Mardi Gras tradition of Tequila Sunrise. Tequila Sunrise involves pulling an all nighter on Lundi Mardi, then drinking a Tequila Sunrise at sunrise on the morning of Fat Tuesday before heading to Zulu and Rex at 8 AM and 10 AM respectively.

Most importantly, have fun 

Mardi Gras is a unique celebration of scope and size that you can’t find anywhere else in the world but in New Orleans. Rally your krewe, throw back a Hurricane or two from the Boot, and go join the craziness that is Carnival.