Lessons I learned when I moved to America from Vietnam

I immigrated to the United States from Vietnam with my dad when I was about to turn 18.

I was informed that life would be difficult due to the language barrier and the differences in thinking and living styles… it was true.

The worst part is forgetting your past and starting over again

A rally at my high school

It felt like I lived the prologue of my life in Vietnam, and when I came to San Francisco, the main act began.

I had to start everything over again. Nobody cared what my previous life looked like and what achievements I had. The only thing they saw was a girl who spoke broken English. Coming from a prestigious high school in Vietnam, I knew I could handle the classes I wanted to take, yet I was not allowed to do so while attending high school in San Francisco.

Even when I stated I would work extremely hard to pass the classes I was interested in, my counselor always said no. The fact that newcomers are given boring classes in high school still frustrates me a lot.

Community college is a stereotype 

Vietnam is a developing country, and education focuses heavily on materials rather than real practices. Hence, I am able to write pretty well even though my speaking is not great.

People in America assumed my reading and writing ability was as bad as my speaking, so they guessed I would not get into a four-year university. It was a common thing in my high school that all immigrants end up in some community college due to the language barrier.

People were surprised when I was accepted to UC Davis, yet they might not recognize how hard I had tried to prove they were wrong.

Being homesick is a real struggle 

Just imagine yourself coming to a new country where people seem not to value you due to your broken verbal language and living with people who have not seen you for seventeen years. My situation is a little bit eccentric: I had lived with my grandparents (from my mom’s side) ever since I was a child, for my parents had to work far away and divorced later, and suddenly my dad took me with him to San Francisco to live with my grandmother (from my dad’s side).

At first, they did not know me, what my characters and personality is like, and I did not know them well enough either, so there were lots of misunderstandings and arguments.

I ended up loving them as much as I love my family in Vietnam.

My grandma (from my dad’s side) when she was young

There is kindness everywhere 

Although I have encountered some difficulties, some people are my heroes. My English teachers believed in me, recognized my ability, and encouraged me to live to my fullest. My mental health counselor helped me think of positive thoughts when I was upset.

My grandma made an effort to communicate with me more often. With all of these support systems, I was able to overcome the disappointment at the beginning and try my best to become what I really wanted to be. I still visit my high school sometimes when I have a break, and it is always nice to talk to the same people and listen to their opinions about how I have grown.

My first English teacher in high school. He is retiring this year. Just thinking about how many students will not have a chance to get support mentally and academically from him upsets me

Traditions are the key

The differences in the culture and traditions between Asia in general, Vietnam in particular, and America are interesting. I’ve found the teaching and learning style particularly positive. The students are given lots of freedom of speech and expression in America, while in my country, everything is very strict.

In America, children are allowed to control their own lives and do whatever they want as long as they are responsible for that, yet in my country (and most of the Asian countries), children are supposed to listen to and follow their parents’ ideas. My mother sometimes complains about this.

Sometimes, she wants me to follow all of her advice and not to do what I want to do. However, I am glad she’s open-inded rather than extremely conservative.

I like the way it turns out: I am not completely on my own, yet I’m not too dependent either.

My traditional-but-willing-to-negotiate mom

It is almost the end of the school year, and I think I really like the peaceful environment here at Davis. I love being on the farm, biking, and seeing beautiful scenery. I am not quite sure if I like to be in the United States, yet obviously I appreciate my family that brought me here for a better education.

So much depends upon the kind people I have met who believe in, inspire, and motivate me. Overall, life is good as long as you work hard. Don’t forget to “have courage and be kind” (Cinderella), everyone has their own struggle.