We played a job application drinking game
It was about as bad as you’d think
Arguably the worst part of being an “adult” is having to make money. And to make money, you have to have a job. And to have a job you have to get a job, which means filling out job applications, otherwise known as the process of bullshitting all your life experiences to make them sound marketable.
Candice and I decided to take things to the next level on our job hunt by turning it into a drinking game.
The rules were fairly simple – begin application, drink every time you move or breathe, rinse and repeat.
Essentially any time we did any step of the job application process, we had to take either one or two shots. As you can imagine, things escalated pretty quickly.
Step 1: walk to Trader Joe’s and buy a $6 bottle of vodka
Yeah, we basically played this game with rubbing alcohol.
Next we sat down, said a quick prayer and an apology to our livers and pulled up Indeed.com.
We both decided to search for marketing jobs in the Davis area and typing in these qualifications lead us to taking our first shot of the evening (jk, it was 3 pm).
Step 2: choose a job to actually apply for
Since my job description contained the words “searching for self-starters” AND “motivated individuals” I had to take 2 shots, while Candice got off easy with 1 shot for use of an acronym (Ella: 3, Candice: 2).
At this point, we started filling out the application. I had to take another 2 shots for some language in my resume and Candice took 2 for positions she’d previously held (Ella: 5, Candice: 4).
That’s when we realized things were going downhill pretty quickly
Step 3: try to remember how to type
After that, it became a shitshow pretty quickly.
I couldn’t fill out the phone number entry to save my life and Candice just started eating Belvita breakfast biscuits.
The final count was Ella: 7 and Candice: 5.
We were rescued from my dorm from a sympathetic friend and this is pretty much how the afternoon ended.
TBH don’t try this at home
If you want to try playing the game, you can find the link here. Godspeed.