The honest dos and don’ts of UD dining

In worse days, human beings had to scavenge for their sustenance. Whether that be hunting down a woolly mammoth or gathering nuts and berries (all my prehistoric knowledge comes from the Ice Age movies), they had to constantly be looking and searching for their next meal.

Nowadays, most of us have easier ways of collecting food. That is, unless you have an on-campus meal plan. Then things can be a bit more treacherous. (Maybe not as treacherous as possibly getting eaten by a saber-toothed tiger but very close.)

To ensure that you will make it through this semester fully-fed, fully-functional, and somewhat-satisfied, here’s a guide to making the most out of UD’s dining experience:

Do get to the omelet line early for weekend/post-hangover brunches

…or be prepared to wait until dinner to get your breakfast.

Statistics show that the average UD students spends 60% of his/her time waiting in the omelet line at the dining hall, according to a research study I just made up. On any given weekend of the school year, you can be sure to find a long line winding around frantic cooks, trying simultaneously to take orders and avoid burning all the eggs while impatient students scroll through last night’s drunk snapchats.

If you want to be one of the first ones in whichever line (there are two stations in Rodney), try to get there a little bit before 10:30am, when it officially opens.

Don’t forget there are other dining halls besides Rodney

Even though it’s great.

While Caesar Rodney is the newest and biggest out of all the three dining halls, and it has the most options, it’s worth it to check out the others, even the ones that are a bit out of your way. Pencader, admittedly, has a terribly confusing layout but they also offer great views of North Campus. Russell is the best place to go if you want a quieter setting, with noticeably less people and a much more relaxed environment.

Do steal stuff

(I’m not exactly sure how much trouble I can get in for encouraging petty “theft” but here’s to hoping no major administrators see this.)

While take-out is available for all halls with the exception of Rodney for reasons I do not at all understand, it’s always possible to take something with you if you bring the proper equipment, i.e. tupperware and natural craftiness. This can save you loads money on snacks, drinks, and granola.

You can never have too much, according to this person.

This is money that you can then put forth toward saving for grad school, or buying a new car, or staying up really late one night and buying everything you see on your Amazon home page. The possibilities are endless.

Don’t have high expectations for ethnic food

I have come to two conclusions in my life: one, that the universe is a big and beautifully diverse place whose marvelous creations are too often ignore and two, that campus dining halls really only know how to cook mashed potatoes correctly.

Ethnic foods, however, are another case.

Every once in a while, some bright mind in the dining hall decides it would be a good idea to celebrate different food cultures. This, in itself is admirable, don’t get me wrong. I’m all about celebrating diversity at a school where a majority of the students are of the mashed potato-sort. I am not all about a poorly cooked jerk chicken dish or enchilada. I am particularly not all about what they call pho, which is apparently what this is:

‘Pho’

However, I do try not to be too picky. I suggest that if UD insists on continuing their ethnic-food attempts, at least put quotation marks around the food names.

Do expect weird food combinations toward the end of the school year

Enjoy your (mostly) normal meals now, because come December, you’ll be enjoying a jalapeño-grilled-cheese-sliced-potatoes salad when the staff realizes they have to get rid of excess cheese before the end of the school year.

Don’t be afraid to eat by yourself

While society and your slightly judgmental mother may make it seem like you have no friends, no one is really paying attention to you. No one is going to point at you and laugh like high school students do in 80’s comedies. Half are probably busy freaking out about the test they didn’t study for that day and the other half are freaking out about the mystery hair in their chickpeas.

It’s normal to have your schedule conflict with that of your lunch/dinner buddies, forcing you to go solo every once in a while. If this is the case, bring some work, bring a good book, or bring nothing at all and just enjoy a relaxing meal where you can eat all the cookies you want without being interrupted by conversation.

Do be nice to dining staff

Their jobs aren’t easy; they have to serve hundreds of students a day, some of whom don’t clean up after themselves or say “thank you” when they should. It’s a shame because a lot of the stuff are really nice and friendly human beings who are literally keeping you alive on-campus. Greet them. Thank them. Take your plates up. Be decent (especially to that blonde lady who usually mans the entrance at Rodney because she’s super adorable).

Happy eating!