Welcome back from Thanksgiving break
We hope you drank* yourself into a coma
Although we’re sure your break was far from relaxing, hopefully it at least gave you a break from your schoolwork.
Or you ate/drank yourself into a coma as a means of forgetting about your schoolwork?
Either way. We’re not judging.
And, if your extended family is just a little too much to handle sometimes, we hope you took advantage of our family Thanksgiving drinking game.
Perfect for questions such as: “how are classes?” or “will you be getting married in the next year?”
Whatever the questions, we’re glad you made it out alive! Campus has been waiting for you.
We hope so too, Laura. We hope so too.
Time to buckle (or helmet?) up. That’s right. Only two weeks of classes left. It’s crunch time.
You thought you had to drink to get through Thanksgiving? Even UMass knows you gotta keep drinking to get through finals.
Too bad it’s become increasingly hard to study thanks to all of the endless fire-drills in Du Bois.
Don’t worry, UMass – it’s not like we had finals to study for or anything.
Hope you saved that paper before walking down the 23 flights!
At least we’re all in this together.
Next time you’re looking for somewhere to let those tears out on campus just remember that The Tab has got you covered.
We all know those tears are inevitable when walking past Du Bois in the winter.
Speaking of which: although it’s been unseasonable warm lately, rumor has it we’re in for a snowy, snowy winter. Need some tips, freshmen?
The best tip we can give you is don’t go outside. You will regret it.
Don’t worry though. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Way, way at the end of the tunnel.
But as for right now, it’s after Thanksgiving. Let’s get real.
The only thing newsworthy is everyone on campus crying simultaneously every day they wake up.
Good luck. And may the odds be ever in your favor.